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Actions speak louder than words - Harvard - Business school personal statement advice

In the earliest days of my first job out of college, I fought through a major setback and achieved a position of significant responsibility. I joined Senator John Kerry’s presidential campaign as the assistant to the communications director, but two days after I arrived, my boss quit. I was reassigned as a volunteer to stuff envelopes and answer phones. My high hopes for a challenging and exhilarating experience were deflated and I found myself both literally and figuratively in the basement, with no apparent exit. Yet, I was passionate about the campaign’s goals and determined to make the strongest impact possible. So, while performing the basic tasks asked of me, I sought out additional opportunities, fostered friendships throughout the staff, and demonstrated that I was reliable, hard-working, cheerful, and cooperative. Within a month, I was hired into the fundraising department, and shortly thereafter, I was promoted to be the campaign manager’s executive assistant. This accomplishment was transformative. I learned the importance of experiencing a setback without dwelling on my disappointment. I learned to temper my impatience to fuel my determination rather than to sap it. I learned to measure my talents without exaggerating them. I found that I had the capacity to network effectively across age ranges and responsibilities. I gained insights into good management and effective leadership. And I gained confidence in my ability to turn a dispiriting setback into a meaningful experience.

Following a promotion to product manager at CashEdge, I led a ten-person, cross-functional team on a six-month project to develop a new product to help small businesses process payables and receivables electronically. The product is being resold through Bank of America, and we just inked a deal with Microsoft to build the product into its forthcoming Vista operating system to enable payment applications on the desktop. This achievement stands out in my mind for the following reasons: I successfully delivered an innovative and compelling product with only fourteen months’ experience in the technology industry. I demonstrated that I could effectively sell a product to a variety of business and technical audiences at major corporations. The deal with Microsoft is a significant step in CashEdge’s drive to go public, and contributing to that effort feels great. I also realized that product management, which blends the creativity and initiative required for product development with the excitement of working directly with clients, mirrors the experience of starting a company and is an excellent training ground as I develop the skills necessary to launch my own company.

Within four months of publishing our book privately in November 2005, my partner and I surpassed $20,000 in sales, moved into the black, and sold the national publication rights to Nation Books. Actions Speak Louder Than Bumper Stickers (ASLTBS) is a collection of humorous political bumper stickers accompanied by sobering facts that ground the punch lines in reality. The idea came to me in August 2005—too late to sell the concept to a publisher and have it distributed by the holidays. So, with a $10,000 self-funded investment, and while continuing our full-time employment, I decided that we should do it ourselves. We wrote the book, obtained licenses, contracted with a graphic designer and printer, built an e-commerce Web site (www.actionsspeaklouderthanbs.com), established an LLC, and received “must buy” reviews from national media outlets and blogs including The Nation and the Huffington Post. Although ASLTBS never made the New York Times Bestseller List, the experience stands out because I recognized an opportunity, assessed and accepted the risk, executed the entire project on a tight budget and in a short time frame, and succeeded.

Analysis

The author takes the reader through three events in his life, each exploiting an opportunity and leading to self-discovery. The essay is easy to read and conversational. The author is also able to articulate why these three achievements are important to him and what he has learned from these experiences. The essay demonstrates his continuous quest for growth, his crisp communication skills, and a determined attitude that is spiced with a sense of humor.

The first story gives a flavor of how the author deals with ups and downs in day-to-day life. He expected the internship to be glamorous and important but ends up stuffing envelopes in the office. However, the author is direct, accommodating, and persistent and eventually moves out of the basement into the limelight. The second story is probably the weakest—not in terms of content but in terms of explanation. The reader is not entirely clear as to what the author’s role was in leading the team. Although the story gives an insight into the author’s future ambitions, it doesn’t help us understand his leadership style better. The author could have improved this section by enunciating “how” he was able to deliver “an innovative and compelling product.” 

Addressing the “how” is more important than stating the achievement, and this section would be more

convincing if the if the author had explained what he really meant by “leading a team.” The final story demonstrates the author’s fun-loving and risk-taking attitude. In terms of writing style, it is important to note how the author first simply states the achievement and then explains how he made it possible. The author is not afraid to reveal his lighter side, either—did he really expect to get on the New York Times BestSeller List? Probably not, but the story still remains memorable and makes us want to get to know the author more. Would he be an entertaining and eclectic contributor in the HBS classroom? Most likely.

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From 65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2009 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group