Hometown: Covina, California, USA

High School: Public school, 450 students in graduating class

Ethnicity: White

Gender: Female

GPA: 4.0 out of 4.0

SAT: Reading 680, Math 660, Writing 730

ACT: n/a

SAT Subject Tests Taken: Biology E/M, Literature

Extracurriculars: Club soccer captain, newspaper sports editor, National Honor Society president, California Scholarship Federation president, National Science Bowl captain

Awards: All-Academic Team for Palomares League for soccer, National Hispanic Scholar, AP Scholar, Co-Student-Athlete of the Year, second team all Palomares League, valedictorian

Major: Sociology

Free sample college application essay

Canvass the people who know me—friends, family, teammates—and I’m certain they would all agree on one description of me. I’m a good student. I’d offer that label up myself.

I know that’s fairly boring, but I just turned 18. There’s still so much I don’t know or haven’t experienced. Future selves (author? professor? reality TV star?) are yet to come. But one thing I do know with certainty is that being a good student is not just about getting good grades.

Through ninth grade, I measured myself in A’s. School was a place where I spent seven hours a day, aching for the day to end. I was motivated to get those A’s only because my parents wanted me to. However, I didn’t care. Liberated by the school bell, I would turn off my brain and focus on other things: friends, sports, and the contents of the DVR. Nothing in a classroom had ever inspired me to do much more than my homework.

Then I took AP world history with Mr. Stratton. I started out terrified: this was my first AP class. I anticipated challenging material and copious homework, and yes, those things did happen. But I didn’t mind it: I trusted my teacher. I even started to worry less about the test in May. What I discovered—happily—was the sheer joy of learning.

“What’s going to make you successful in the future are hard work, passion, and curiosity—not the numbers one to five,” Mr. Stratton told us. I remember the words verbatim because I recorded his speech to the class the day before the AP exam. That was how crazily excited I was about this class.

He was an amazing and, yes, life-changing teacher. He showed a “grade junkie” (a common term of his) like myself that it’s not about the tests or scores. Questions. Discovery. Knowledge. These are the things that actually matter.

I still spout off information from AP World—especially from chapter 29: “The French Revolution.” I’ve often compared the hierarchies of my own high school to the stratified society of France. (Plans for a Basketball Court Oath—we don’t have tennis courts, alas—have yet to materialize.)

My new enthusiasm extended to all my classes and activities. Everything had something to offer—even Physics. I found my identity as a good student, embracing those principles of hard work, passion, and curiosity. Now I cherish all of my hours at school wholeheartedly, from pep rallies to the soccer field, from the science lab to the newspaper room. Furthermore, I seek to educate myself outside the syllabus, reading Sylvia Plath or watching YouTube videos on history. I want to be a good student of life.

I find knowledge satisfying when it provides perspective on the state of the world. History, literature, science, politics, Spanish—every course gives me a greater understanding of how people behave, how the world works, why things are the way they are. (And also prepares me, I hope, to change the world in my own ways in the future.) Mr. Stratton taught us about the Age of Enlightenment—and his class was itself a time of enlightenment for me.

I am proof that good students are made by good teachers. I am grateful to Mr. Stratton and every other teacher I have had who has changed me, inspired me, informed me, and yes, graded me. This passion for learning they have ignited in me will continue to burn through my college years—a new Age of Enlightenment.

I cannot help but browse college course descriptions, eager to embark on new adventures of learning. I know I am a good student— and I hope to be one for the rest of my life.

REVIEW

In this essay, Ronni presents herself sincerely and openly. The light- hearted introduction effectively establishes the fact that she will be talking about the academic side of her life without sounding pretentious or full of herself. She does an excellent job of integrating her academic life and her life outside of school, reminding the reader that she is, indeed, only eighteen years old. Most importantly, she is able to briefly share an anecdote about an experience that was important to her and use it to explain other parts of her life. Without beating the reader over the head, she reminds us that she plays soccer, enjoys science, and writes for the newspaper. The inclusion of these activities does not sound like a readout of her résumé but deftly accomplishes the same effect. A good college essay helps build a narrative around your candidacy, so including many different parts of your life is wise. Her inclusion of extracurricular activities and topics she is interested in helps build that narrative.

When writing about academics as Ronni does here, it is important to keep in mind that the purpose of your essay is not to tell a college that you are smart. That’s what your grades and test scores are for. The purpose of the essay is to share your authentic self with a college in a way that is simply impossible on a résumé. Ronni walks that line well here. This essay is also a strong reminder of the fact that colleges admit actual high school students. Applicants to selective colleges are often tempted to write an essay filled with pretentious words, confusing diction, and a tone of arrogant falsified erudition. Avoid this urge, just as Ronni avoided it. Take a few minutes and read your essay out loud. Do you recognize your own voice in your words? If you don’t hear your voice, how will an admission officer? This essay is strong because Ronni’s voice shines through.

From 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, 5th Edition edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2017 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.