Hometown: Port Angeles, Washington, USA

High School: Public school, 255 students in graduating class

Ethnicity: White

Gender: Female

GPA: 4.0 out of 4.0

SAT: Reading 760, Math 800, Writing 780

ACT: n/a

SAT Subject Tests Taken: Biology E/M, Spanish

Extracurriculars: Chamber orchestra concertmaster; Key Club president; National Honor Society copresident

Awards: National Merit finalist

Major: Molecular and Cellular Biology

Free sample college statement

My town, being average in most respects, doesn’t make it into the news a lot. But when we do, we do it with gusto: one recent event that got us on TV was when a man drove a bulldozer through several neighbors’ houses. But notable, perhaps, on a deeper level than the angry bulldozer rampage is the Elwha River Restoration. In removing the two-century-old dams on the Elwha River, we have, among other things, made it possible for the salmon of the Elwha to follow their ancient instincts and return all the way home.

In some ways, the salmon have been my teachers in this. I have done my fair share of travel. I love the sense of imminent adventure at the beginning of a journey, and I love the adventure itself, but incomparable to both of these is the feeling I get arriving back where I started. It is a sense of sadness that the adventure is over, yes, but also a sense of completion and contentment: I am home. Home not just to my house, but to the Olympic Peninsula, the place I love the most in the world, with its rugged mountains, old-growth rainforests, and rocky beaches.

Perhaps I’m biased. My father is, after all, a ranger at Olympic National Park. But I prefer to think that I am lucky: lucky to live here and lucky to have a dad who has guided me to a true appreciation for the miracles of nature that surround me. Long before I can remember (though pictures will attest), he and my mom would carry me in the baby backpack out on family adventures. Later, I could get through hikes on my own two feet.

Getting my froggy boots muddy was always fun, but some element of the nature around me invariably provided the real wow factor (even once I outgrew the froggy boots): the mighty old-growth evergreens of the Hoh Rainforest, shrouded in their mossy veils; the breaching whale and her baby off of First Beach, on their way to Alaska for the summer; the ethereal beauty of twinkling bioluminescence in Freshwater Bay; or the mountain goat, just a few yards away, staring at me as I rounded a corner on a Hurricane Ridge trail.

Yes, I am undoubtedly lucky to live in such an amazing place. The Olympic Peninsula contains adventures enough for a lifetime. But I thirst for travel; there is an entire world to explore, so why should I stop at one corner of it? Like the salmon, I will make long journeys to faraway lands (or in their case, waters). And even though we don’t yet understand the mechanism by which salmon are able to return to the exact spot of their birth, I do know that no matter where life takes me and no matter where I finally settle, the Olympic Peninsula will always be my home.

REVIEW

In this essay, Leah writes about her home, specifically discussing the beauty of where she grew up and her feelings toward her environment. She creatively introduces her sense of home using an incident relating to salmon. Then, Leah uses this incident as an analogy to her deep feeling of home.

Leah’s strongest paragraph, the third one, details what home means to her through vivid, sensory detail. The usage of proper nouns such as Hoh Rainforest and First Beach makes this essay more realistic, adding to her nostalgic and awed tone.

Leah ties up this essay by appealing to a broader picture, for although she loves her home, she yearns for more—the more is something college can provide. Simultaneously, she writes that her home is still her home, implying she is sensible and grounded. This essay is well crafted, but it could have been stronger if Leah elaborated on what it means for her home to be home, and how that will change her future plans.

Overall, the essay is wonderfully written through conveying Leah’s appreciation for nature and life—things that are not showcased in any other aspect of the Common Application. However, the essay could have been more memorable if Leah detailed how the environment has changed her own beliefs and views leading to her current commitments and future goals. Ultimately, Leah’s conversational tone in tandem with her descriptive diction leaves the reader knowing who she is while wondering who she is to become.

From 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, 5th Edition edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2017 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.