Hometown: Astana, Kazakhstan

High School: Public school, 90 students in graduating class

Ethnicity: White

Gender: Female

GPA: 4.0 out of 4.0

SAT: Reading 760, Math 740, Writing 800

ACT: n/a

SAT Subject Tests Taken: Mathematics Level 2, Literature

Extracurriculars: Main actress in city’s drama club, founder of a feminist book club, member of EducationUsa, independent volunteer, artist

Awards: First place in city’s geometry Olympiad, second and third place math Olympiad, first place Russian language Olympiad, first places in numerous English competitions (city and regional)

Major: Economics

Successful college statement

Growing up in a society in which any sign of femininity is associated with poor intelligence and lack of logic, I have had people frequently doubting my abilities and discouraging me from pursuing my academic goals. “After all, you are a girl. You cannot understand economics!” “Do not worry about math too much: you will not need it to be a good wife.” These voices never stop, no matter how hard I try to prove my worth. The fault is probably mine: I mean, I am asking for all the sexist remarks, am I not? I am so silly dyeing my hair blond and wearing pink lip gloss. I could easily make myself seem more intelligent by concealing my femininity, but I would rather spend time trying to become smart than trying to look smart. After all, does it really matter if a person studying intensely and working hard is a woman or if she is wearing sparkling eyeshadow instead of thick glasses?

I decided that no unspoken sexist “rules” of my society will ever turn me away from my interests and goals, and I absolutely love the path I have chosen. I join “manly” conversations about economy, despite the condescending snorts. I decorate my trusty TI-84 with rhinestones and buy cute pink stationery to beat the SATs with. I participate in all academic competitions I can, and even win some of them despite lacking a certain member. My teachers, friends, and even family may believe that I am “just a girl,” but I know that my persistence to defy stereotypes and achieve my goal of receiving quality education will show other girls that they can achieve more than society thinks.

After the prestigious geometry Olympiad is over I, the captain of the winning team, smile with my new shiny medal on my chest, and some guy from the opposing team comes up to me and starts a conversation: “You are kind of smart for a girl.” With the brightest smile I answer: “I bet you wish you could be as smart as a girl too.”

REVIEW

Nuriya effectively uses her essay as a space to convey aspects of her personality—namely, her femininity and the unapologetic zeal with which she asserts it. Her choice to begin with an anecdote about getting ready in the bathroom for an Olympiad competition is a wise one. Just subtle enough, the mirror motif immediately makes clear Nuriya’s purpose: to draw a distinction between the young woman she sees and the one that her sexist society does.

The essay’s structure is a textbook example of narrative organization. After introducing us to the stereotypes that people (including her own mother!) assign her, Nuriya spends a couple of paragraphs explaining exactly how she’s defied such prejudice. Nuriya’s insertion of specific details—her dream to become a financial analyst and the rhinestones with which she adorns her TI-84—make her appear a more personable and endearing character. The reader understands well that Nuriya possesses conviction in herself and her choices, whether to dye her hair blond or eschew thick eyeglasses for “sparkling eye shadow.” Nuriya’s greatest strength lies, then, in the emphatic tone with which she depicts her poise through years of pushback from those judging on cursory and superficial impressions.

In ending Nuriya not only coheres her writing around a central event, but also adds a layer of complexity to the mirror motif that she earlier introduced: She is both the girl applying makeup and, having won the competition, the girl wearing a “new shiny metal” strapped to her chest. Ultimately, Nuriya leaves the reader feeling inspired and convinced that she will continue to resist naysayers as she faces more challenges in the years ahead.

From 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, 5th Edition edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2017 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.