Hometown: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA

High School: Private Quaker school, 56 students in graduating class

Ethnicity: Hispanic

Gender: Female

GPA: 4.2 out of 4.0

SAT: Reading 750, Math 660, Writing 790

ACT: n/a

SAT Subject Tests Taken: U.S. History, French, Spanish

Extracurriculars: Yearbook editor in chief, student government representative, varsity crew captain, Vegetarian Club leader

Awards: National Hispanic Scholar Award, high school high honors, language award

Major: Linguistics

Sample college admissions essay

Languages have played a central role in my life. I have studied a variety of languages, to varying degrees, but always in the name of my greater goal, which is to understand people—to truly comprehend what lies beneath the surface: How does a culture conceive of itself? What can we learn about how the Japanese based on formality of address? What can be said about the Germans, whose language requires the verb appear at the end of a sentence? Maybe not much, but without knowledge of the language, the possibility of real understanding is impaired. My interest in linguistics—and psychology as well—derives from this belief: there is an underlying structure to all language, and through the study and comprehension of this structure, there can be a mutual understanding.

Beyond the underlying structure, words themselves have a deep and rich history, and their usage is a form of beauty in itself. It was my father who opened my eye to this truth—who taught me to love words for their stories and to appreciate etymology. It began as a friendly contest between us, but for me, appreciation soon became full-fledged adoration that was only encouraged by my study of Latin. I began drawing connections I had previously missed between words I use every day, and I found myself spending hours in front of the computer looking for sites to aid me in my discoveries. One of my favorite discoveries (and an apt one to share with you) is the word hedera.

I happened upon hedera when I noticed the similarity among the words apprehend, aprender, and apprendre, “to learn” in Spanish and French, respectively. It was clear, judging by the orthography and definitions, that these words shared a Latin root, but in my studies, never had I come across such a word. Next thing I knew, I had the following on my hands: apprentice, comprehend, prehensile, apprehensive—a list of seemingly unrelated words—and only more questions. What relationship exists between one who is learning a trade and a sense of foreboding? The answer lay within the etymologies, which led to hedera, the Latin word for ivy. Once suffixes had been stripped away, the remaining word was always -hendere. Alone, the word means virtually nothing; it was contrived from hedera as a verb form to convey a sense of grasping. What better to do so than ivy, a plant known for its tenacity? I could not help but admire the ivy which had embedded itself into the foundations of language.

Language is all about meaning and understanding, but to grasp the true meaning of language, one must look beyond the surface of the sentence to the structure, and even beyond that to the meaning and histories of the words themselves. Language, therefore, is my passion because it is the study of understanding.

REVIEW

The strength of Athena’s essay lies, unsurprisingly, in her adept use of language to string together sentences as nicely written as they are communicative. Athena’s writing is uncharacteristically advanced for her age: It is free of the attempts at poetic flourish that often appear in personal statements and manages to showcase her extensive vocabulary without using ten-dollar words. As Athena puts forward, words and language are the tools she commands best; her essay is proof of this.

As for its content, this essay successfully exhibits its author’s intellectual curiosity by parsing through the reasons why she loves linguistics and then demonstrating her learning process by parsing an actual word. And yet, this exercise causes the writer to stray from her initial discussion of how linguistics helps her better understand cultures and people, a wildly intriguing concept that ultimately doesn’t get much airtime here.

Beyond that, this essay could exhibit more about its author as an individual. Though Athena alludes to a playful relationship with her father, this is all we get in the way of a glimpse into her personality. At 475 words, this essay is well under the 650-word limit. A more colorful introduction, some insight into how Athena’s love of linguistics shapes her interactions with others, or a more personal conclusion could liven up what is already a sound argument for the writer’s keen intellect.

From 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, 5th Edition edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2017 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.