Scholars have identified “kisses of death” in a statement of purpose for study in psychology, counseling, or clinical work. Their advice applies broadly to all personal statements. Here are some of their key findings and how they relate to other fields of study:

1. Avoid discussing your mental health. Do not discuss or disclose anything about your own psychological or emotional health. Even if a personal experience related to your mental health has inspired you to pursue your field, do not write about it.

2. Avoid excessive emotion or idealism. The researchers identify excessive altruism as a “kiss of death” specifically in psychology, but it applies to any of the “caring” fields: psychology, social work, and education, for example. More generally, any expression of excessive affection for a field--the love of history, love of literature--is a kiss of death.

3. Avoid revealing too much personal information. Always remember that the statement of purpose should be focused on your professional preparation and plans. As noted above (tricky topics) any hardships or challenges should be mentioned only in context. Avoid disclosing too much personal information and focus instead on how any difficulties you’ve experienced are evidence of your resilience. Remember, someone else probably had it worse.

Other “kisses of death” identified include seeming boastful or proud; choosing inappropriate recommenders (basically, anyone other than a professor or direct supervisor); and trying to flatter faculty members.

More Dos and Dont’s

Do not start with, end with, or include anywhere in between an inspirational quote of any kind. 

Do not try to be funny or clever or cute. 

Do not use jargon, slang, or expletives.

No exclamation points. Ever.

Avoid metaphors.

Avoid cliches.

Avoid contractions.

Do not mention high school.

Do not write about extracurriculars or hobbies unless they are obviously relevant to your area of study.

Do not mention your health status (physical or mental), relationship, or family status.

Typos and grammatical mistakes are very likely to tank your chances of admission. Read and re-read your statement. Show it to trusted mentors (faculty members, colleagues, friends, and family) and ask them to read carefully for any errors. Slips of the finger can wreak havoc. (More than one student has applied for a degree in “pubic” health.) If you are a non-native speaker, consider hiring a native speaker to proofread and check for idiomatic usage.

Do not write about learning differences (one possible exception: neurodiversity is the specific area you wish to research) or the need for accommodations.

Do present yourself as a young professional and an aspiring scholar. Strike a mature tone, but do not imagine yourself as a colleague or friend of a faculty member. Respect the hierarchy in academe: You are an applicant, which means you are a supplicant. You are asking for consideration and presenting your qualifications. Be respectful, never presumptuous, and do not criticize anyone or any scholarship in your statement. (You never know: The work you are criticizing might be by a friend of the professor reading your statement.)