The tone of your statement should be, above all, professional. Consider the statement as a second writing sample. Strive for sobriety and precision. Use the terminology of your discipline but eschew jargon and don’t try to impress anyone. Avoid the words “interesting” and “important.” Eliminate adverbs. Above all, you want your statement to be readable. Try to be clear, concise, and engaging. Taking an academic or scholarly tone does not mean you should write ponderous prose. Faculty members are reading so many statements; you do not want to try their patience or tax their attention.

Here, from UC Berkeley, are words and phrases to avoid.

significant

interesting

challenging

satisfying/satisfaction

appreciate

invaluable

exciting/excited

enjoyable/enjoy

feel good

appealing to me

appealing aspect

I like it

it’s important

I can contribute

meant a lot to me

stimulating

incredible

gratifying

fascinating

meaningful

helping people

I like helping people

remarkable

rewarding

useful

valuable

helpful

love

My best strategy for cleaning up your prose is to turn nominalizations back into verbs. Nominalizations are verbs made nouns, often ending in -tion. Turn these back into the verbs they should be, and your prose will suddenly feel much more active. Consider these examples:

nominalization verb

realization realize

investigation investigate

explanation explain

argument argue

decision decide

discussion discuss

assumption assume

My very favorite style guide, for those interested in improving their prose, is Joseph Williams’s Style Toward Clarity and Grace (any edition). The guide expands on the venerable advice of Oliver Strunk and E. B. White in their classic The Elements of Style. “Omit needless words.”

Proofread, then proofread again, then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although spell check and online grammar checking programs can be useful, do not rely on them.