When you are writing an admissions essay, simply adhering to the rules of grammar you learned in middle school and using vocabulary words you picked up during SAT prep will not cut it. In fact, if you feel you need a thesaurus, then the writing is probably already bad. What you need is to keep in mind common pitfalls and these tips on structuring your essay.

Common Writing Tips

• Avoid Passive Voice: You have probably heard this many times over, but you hear it many times over because people do not listen. While not every use of "is," "was," and "are" are weak (case in point), you want to minimize it as much as possible. If it sounds natural in the active voice, keep it that way; if it sounds wordy and clunky, passive voice is (probably) OK.

• Avoid clichés: Often, we hear people say they worry their essay is boring, does not display their passion, or feels like a slog to read. If the content and messaging works, nine times out of ten, this has to do with an over-reliance on clichés. “I gave it my all,” “I read between the lines,” and “the time of my life” do not work because they do not specifically describe you. If you had an internship, for example, that really was “the time of your life,” do not just say that. Show us how it was the time of your life.

• Avoid generalized language: The other common pitfall in “boring” writing comes from general language. “I was sad when I did not get the internship” only gives us a vague idea of how you felt (not to mention it uses passive voice). Show us how you walked for an hour in silent disappointment; show us how you immediately got up and applied to another five internships; show us how you picked up the phone and called the internship director to make your case. The more you show details that would separate your experience and story from others, the stronger your writing will be.

The Power of Story: The Most Effective Medium

“To involve people at the deepest level, you need stories.” -Robert McKee, Author

***

The next time you read a long-form journalism article, notice how almost all of them start with a small anecdote or story that leads into the overall message. Nonfiction authors will also do this, opening their books with stories that, absent the context, could read like fiction. Why?

Because stories engage.

Because stories are relatable.

Because stories are the most effective way to get and then keep a reader’s attention.

At times, we advise clients to think of the essays less as essays and more as a chance to tell a personal story because it will encourage them to write appropriately. So how do you tell a good story, then? One example is you:

• Show: The time for "Because of this experience, I learned…" is at the end of your essay, not in the middle of the story. For everything up to the conclusion, show us what happened.

• Use dialogue: If you’re going to talk about a person who influenced you, show us a scene and what they said.

• Start with the “Inciting Incident”: When you first learned about storytelling, you probably learned about the five stages of writing. Because of limited space, start “in media res.” (Latin for “in the midst of things”) It will immediately suck the reader in and make them curious to learn about the context of the scene.

• Build toward the climax: In your personal statement, this is when you realized you needed to do whatever it is you want to do. This moment should arrive with tension and reflection or questions—do this, and the rest will come naturally.

Once you’ve told your story… then what? How do you properly end your essay?

Bring it Full Circle

In those same long-form journalism articles or nonfiction books you read, you may notice something interesting about their conclusions—they usually bring back the opening narrative or story.

***

“The easiest way to get that sense of closure and emotional catharsis is to bring the book full-circle.” -Holly West, Editor at Macmillan Publishers

***

That is no accident. Just as the “Hero’s Journey” from Joseph Campbell is literally represented as a circle, great storytelling often entails coming back to where you started. You end at the beginning but with the benefit of wisdom. The same is true with your essay—circle back to where you started, reflect on how far you have come, and summarize it all.  If ever there is a spot to “tell” instead of “show,” your last couple of paragraphs are it. Sometimes, you may find a pithy, one-line sentence to end the essay on, but in general, a concise, three-to-five sentence closing paragraph should work fine.