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Intros and Conclusions

As we wrap up the discussion of individual strategies, it is time to take a step back and draw some universal insights for well-written essays. Over the years, we have gathered patterns of essays that captivated audiences and others that have turned away Admissions for their cliché-based or less-than-original writing. Still, with this experience, we have read enough bad essays to recognize a good one. Uniformly, good essays were clear, concise, and grammatically correct.

 

Next, we discuss conclusions and work backward to address introductions.  Given the MBA admissions essays are short by design, emphasis on introductions and conclusions will be important for communicating a compelling story.

 

Tips on Conclusions

It is useful to start at the end. Everyone knows that first impressions are important, but how you leave your reader affects your candidacy. The primary function of the conclusion is to leave the reader with a sense of forwarding momentum. It should always end with a view or perspective about how your central message will impact you.

 

·      Concluding sentence. Be sure to include one. We do not want to end our essays on an abrupt note. Use the callback technique – a reference to an earlier part of the essay that wraps up the story. You may also consider a call-to-action – what you plan to do in the future.

·      Do not summarize. SAT writing teaches you to regurgitate your thesis statement again in the conclusion paragraph. We recommend speaking to your audience in thematic terms (i.e. tying themes together) instead of sequential terms (i.e. “here is what happened first, then this happened, and here is where I am now”).

·      Length. Conclusions work best when they are succinct. If you are using your conclusion to deliver more information, it is too late. If it takes 450 words to get to the point, you most likely lost your audience. The conclusion should be understandably packaging the central ideas – all in one developed paragraph.

·      Broaden the focus. If the essay focused on technical subject matter such as cloud-computing fintech architectures, we recommend using the conclusion to discuss the broader significance. For example, why do democratization and widespread access to computing technology enable wealth and income mobility?

·      Throw in a twist. Some writers use the element of surprise to be memorable.  This strategy may work, but writer-beware. Most good storytellers utilize elements of the unexpected but usually arrive at satisfying endings.

 

 

Tips on Introductions

You might be surprised how often applicants stumble right out of the gates. And often, it is not even their fault. In most other contexts, the approaches used by business school applicants would work because they come off as fresh. However, the impulse to begin these essays with profound quotes from famous people falls too flat because this approach is so overdone. So in a way, before giving Admissions a chance to get to know the real you, they view your essay in trite and cliched generalizations.

 

That quote from Marcus Aurelius? Skip it. If a quote provides a generalization about hard work, persistence, or sacrifice, avoid it.  Avoid broad platitudes or proclamations about “what is true” or “what is right” – these statements are less relevant to the essay topic at hand. The plight of your grandmother? Include it but in the service of how it impacts you. After all, grandma is not applying to business school. You are.

 

The best approach to an introduction to a business school essay is to answer the question directly.  Direct and concise responses that serve as an opening thesis statement will set the tone, and focus the reader’s attention on your message.

 

Another introduction technique is to provide quick content to a situation that will quickly introduce a thesis statement.  Within the first three sentences will be the thesis statement of a well-written business school essay. 

 

Quick points:

·      Do not open with rhetorical questions, logical questions, or famous quotes. We do not recommend it for the reasons listed above.

·      Avoid making an argument about a legal, ethical, or political topic. We are not trying to a point, we are trying to share with the reader the story of your life, and communicate what is important to you.  Be vulnerable and give the admissions a window into your heart.

·      Remember that we are NOT here to educate the admissions committee.  Do not write a research paper about the attractiveness of an industry.  Do not try to convince the admissions committee that a particular company, technology, or business practice will be “the way of the future.”

·      Short answer responses. It is best to restate what the question is asking you. What is your long-term career goal (in 200 words)? We recommend starting with “My long-term career goal is …”. Instead of focusing your energy on an attempt to hook your reader (which might fail badly), you can focus instead on the topic at hand and spend the rest of your space backing up and explaining your reasoning and interests.

·      Open with an interesting statistic or a story. This approach may work if the writer makes the relevant connection to the thesis immediately after the introductory paragraph. In other words, do not write a two-paragraph story and arrive at the thesis in paragraph three. We need to guide the reader to an outline of what they are about to read.

·      Thesis openings. Yes! Works very well and is effective for Admissions who read and have to dig through endless amounts of writing to arrive at key points. By making the point clear and concise for the reader, you will be rewarded for your focus and consistency.

·      When beginning the first draft, sometimes it is helpful to skip the introduction. Some applicants get so bogged down trying to come up with the perfect opening that they become paralyzed. If this is you, try writing your first draft starting from paragraph two. Spoiler alert: when this happens, usually paragraph two becomes paragraph one because it is written in a way that addresses the question right away.

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