Although I was born on the East Coast, Colorado will always be the place that I call home. Both of my parents spent the majority of their lives in Brooklyn but ultimately decided that they wanted to raise their kids elsewhere. Living in a small suburb outside of Denver is markedly different than living amidst millions of people on a small island in New York. Regardless of the location my parents chose for my childhood, they created a community that fostered my sense of autonomy and encouraged me to develop my own unique sense of self. They knew best when to intervene in a situation and when to sit back and let me experience something on my own, even if that meant I failed. As the youngest, I could always look to my parents and my older sisters for guidance and support when I was unsure. Each one of them embodies a combination of traits and values that have influenced who I am today and who I desire to be as a physician. My dad throws himself wholeheartedly into his work, whether that be as an EMT, firefighter, swim meet official, or accountant, he will be the first one there and the last to leave. His passion and his work ethic are what I strive to emulate in all aspects of my own life. My mom used to teach and now works as an aide to special education students. She has always been patient, and she has always been kind, but it is especially evident in her interactions with her students. Her ability to build relationships with ease and make people feel comfortable in her presence is a skill I continually work on. Although I will not be following in my parents’ footsteps with regard to my career choice, I will carry with me their selflessness, perseverance, and dedication as I pursue my own path in medicine.

From a young age, the empowerment that my immediate familial community gave me was crucial because I felt comfortable with myself and my abilities. I was not scared to try new sports or be the first one to answer a question at school. There was always room to chase my dreams, and this led me to become a part of the community at Duke. My very first week, almost every other person I met was from a different country. Being immersed in this educational community cultivated a more profound respect for diversity. I learned about respect before I entered kindergarten, but I experienced how integrating the perspectives and opinions of multiple people enriches the learning experience for everyone. This is where any community can improve. Being more accepting of others whose values and beliefs do not align with our own benefits the community as a whole.

As I strive to enter the medical profession, I return to the empowerment that enabled me to develop into a young woman who is dedicated and compassionate. The CAPE program at Duke was founded to support female athletes and other independent scholars on their journey into medical science. Amongst this group of women who shared similar aspirations, I became courageous in my desire to contribute to the profession as a devoted caregiver and confident leader.

Describe a situation where you have chosen to advocate for someone who is different from yourself. What does advocacy mean to you and how has your advocacy developed? How do you see it linked to your role as a physician/leader? What risks, if any, might be associated with your choice to be an advocate?

In its most simplistic definition, I thought of advocacy as fighting for a cause or an injustice on someone else’s behalf, someone who was physically or mentally limited and lacked the necessary resources to do so on their own. Advocacy does not always have to involve this broad, overarching movement towards change. It exists on a much smaller scale, and it can still have a profound impact even if it only reaches one person.

I first met Sal when I began volunteering my junior year as part of one of the service learning courses at Duke. When I walked into his room at the nursing home, I was drawn to the large posters plastered over his walls, with additional sticky notes sporadically placed across them. As we began talking, he told me the posters were proposed studies and the sticky notes were thoughts he did not want to forget.

 He gestured to the numerous boxes stacked around him, filled with more ideas for hopeful studies. Although he was 92 years old, his curiosity and passion were unwavering. His boundless energy inspired me, but his spirit and optimism were no match for the amount of work he wished to accomplish, and unfortunately the nursing home was not equipped to act as a laboratory. I offered my assistance to him anyways, but not without recognizing and voicing my own limitations. I had little research experience and no sources of funding, but I was a passionate learner as Sal was. I added an able body to move around boxes and sticky notes. I taught him tricks on the computer and became a sounding board for his ideas. Although I made Sal aware that I was unable to bring his studies to fruition, my presence was a source of support for him. He could vent his frustration and voice his concern over his lack of progress. My role as Sal’s advocate was a few empty boxes, many moved sticky notes, and various new word documents; however, it filled Sal’s days with purpose and motivated him to engage in a project that excited him.

As a future physician, I will recognize that I operate under certain limitations as well. Although in a majority of cases I am fully equipped to fight for the health of my patients, there will also be cases in which there is little I can do to guarantee a favorable outcome. As part of the CAPE program, I saw this consistently in the Brain Tumor Center at Duke. Glioblastomas are aggressive tumors, and even though there are multiple groundbreaking trials under investigation, not all patients qualify. The neuro-onocologists must have these tough but honest conversations with their patients about their ability to only offer standard of care. Although this risks upsetting the patient and may result in an unfavorable outcome, it does more damage to avoid these conversations altogether.

Advocacy in the medical community will be centered around changes that are both large and small in magnitude. For instance, physicians have the opportunity to advocate for each of their patients on a daily basis in powerful ways. I can spend an extra five minutes with a patient to answer their questions or ease their concern. I can refer them to another doctor or specialist if my services are not sufficient. I can listen intently to their problems and suggest the best course of action. Each of these small acts has a significant impact, and it is this approach that can build trust between patients and their providers.

What has been your most humbling experience and how will that experience affect your interactions with your peers and patients?

Lily and I became friends over our shared love of converse sneakers. Since we were in many classes together, she told me she hadn’t been doing well on her exams. She felt uneasy and anxious right before the test, which distracted her from the questions. One morning, I met her in the library since we had an upcoming exam. As she looked through her notes, I heard her taking huge deep breaths. Suddenly, she broke down in tears and began to hyperventilate as her tears escalated into hysterics. I tried calming her down, but my efforts were futile. She finally agreed to go to the school psychologist and began seeing a psychologist outside of school regularly. She was getting control of her test anxiety and had not had any full-fledged panic attacks since that morning. Her grades steadily improved, and when we parted ways for college she stayed behind in Colorado and I moved on to North Carolina. We stayed in touch and saw each other on breaks but as time went on, we spoke less frequently. The night I received the text from her, it had been over a month since we had last spoken. She had sent me messages indicating her intention to swallow an entire bottle of pills that she had. I immediately called her, knowing that texts were ineffectual. She sent me to voicemail, but I kept calling until she answered. She was audibly upset, but my thought was to keep her on the phone as long as possible as a means of distraction. I told her how important my friendship was to her, and she insisted that I did not understand what she was going through. I admitted that I did not but she could try to explain it to me, again trying to prolong the conversation. I asked where her sister and parents were, and she said her sister was away and her parents were upstairs. It took some time, but I convinced her to go upstairs and only hang up once I could hear her parents’ voices. Later that night, I received a text that she had been admitted to the ER and was waiting for a bed.

Lily fortunately received the help she needed and has been doing much better since, but I still question how I responded to the situation. Should I have called the police immediately? Or at least my own parents who lived close by? I could not do much from North Carolina but I thought if I convinced her to talk with her parents they would intervene. My decision to stay on the phone with Lily had major consequences, as do all my choices. I must continue being attentive to both the behavior and actions of my peers, never brushing something off as a “bad day” if I believe something more is going on. Rather than staying silent I must assert myself and ask questions, and if I lack the resources to be of help, then find someone who can.

Both being attentive and assertive are crucial in medicine. Even though physicians do not have much time with patients, being completely present in the room enables the doctor to catch small details and follow-up on them. Approaching patient care with focus reminds the patient they are the priority. As I experienced with Lily, my choice that night was life or death, and this is even more applicable in a doctor’s world. It is impossible to know the effects that our decisions will have, but being as informed and as involved as possible will work in our favor.

What qualities will you bring to the practice of medicine?

After a loss, coaches and players emphasize over and over how they were “not playing as a team.” They may have been unaware of their teammates or too focused on themselves to adapt to the needs of the team. This discord creates new fissures within the group or deepens existing ones. If addressed immediately, the potential to “play as one” successfully returns to the realm of possibility. Swimming is a unique sport in which I race as an individual, yet the meet is scored as a team. I do not rely on my teammates during a race the same way a quarterback relies on his wide receiver during a game, but we too understand that when our individual goals all point towards one overarching team goal, we perform at our very best. This mentality extends into the field of medicine. Physicians never work alone – nurses, NPs, PAs, fellows, medical students, pharmacists, surgical and radiology technicians are all part of the team. Integration of these different positions contributes to a holistic approach to patient care, ensuring that all needs are met.

As an aspiring member of the medical community, my previous experience as a D1 athlete has developed my abilities to thrive in this type of environment. Not only am I capable of working with others, but I also enjoy collaborative work. I am a quick thinker and dedicated problem solver; however, I find it beneficial to inquire about the opinions of those around me. Dr. Knudsen made this point clear to me in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit at Duke. Due to the high rate of turnover between the day team and the night team, a fresh set of eyes looks over the patient every 12 hours. Even though transferring care can lead to overlooked details, it also presents the chance for someone to come in and assess a patient’s situation differently and change the plan of action. I recognize and appreciate the varying perspectives of those with whom I work. In a team environment, there is also fluidity to the roles that each individual plays. In medicine especially, an unforeseen situation arises where team members acquire responsibilities that are not part of their daily routine. Being flexible to adapt to novel circumstances maintains optimal team functioning. My coaches constantly switched our team line up only minutes before I was supposed to swim. I stayed composed in these moments being fully aware that this change benefitted the meet’s outcome. It became clear to me how making this commitment to others’ goals and aspirations and investing time to help them reach those goals contributed to my own focus and dedication. By helping others we help ourselves, and this gets at the heart of the “play as one” mindset.

This idea of unity can be confused with conformity. Why teams consistently struggle to play together is because they are attempting to find a state of flow in which each member’s strengths are utilized completely, and this task is difficult. It must be noted that unity does not eliminate diversity, it embraces it. The power of a team comes from its integration of each member’s talents and skills. Bringing my curiosity to learn, enthusiasm to collaborate, and perseverance to overcome failure will be ways in which I contribute to my own future medical team.

Describe a situation where you failed. What did you learn from the experience? Describe at least one functional impact of the experience.

During my very first swim meet, I spent more time crying than I did swimming. While the tears have stopped, the sport continually tested my commitment. My journey to college swimming was wrought with frustration and disappointment. I doubted my ability to swim at the collegiate level and debated whether to end it after high school. I struggled with these feelings of inadequacy as schools turned me away, politely telling me that I needed to get faster. But I kept practicing, convinced that even if I never made it, it would not be for lack of effort. I was fortunate enough that the coaches at Duke saw some of my potential and gave me a chance. Both my body and my mind were exhausted between the double training sessions and long days of class in between, yet this became a familiar feeling to me as the year went on. I was getting stronger, training harder, and swimming faster. The most significant meet during the collegiate season is the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) Championships where teams within the conference compete for the title. Because the ACC is one of the largest conferences in the country, they limit the number of participants that can enter the meet. Each team is allotted a roster of 16 swimmers and 4 divers, but every year Duke had close to 30 women on their own roster, which meant the coaches were faced with the decision to build a team that would be most successful and score the most points at the meet. As a freshman who had barely made the cut for the Duke team in the first place, I was unsure if there was a spot on the ACC team for me. The morning I received the email that I would be going to ACCs, I was sitting alone on the bus to East Campus. I felt like I did as a freshman in high school, going to my first travel meet. My time and effort were paying dividends and continued to do so as I went back to ACCs my sophomore and junior year. As a senior, I approached the season as I did in years past, demonstrating to the underclassmen what was expected of them as a member of this team. I was training better than in previous seasons, and I believed I had put myself in a position to return to ACCs for the final meet of my swimming career, but the email informing me of my spot on the team never came.

Besides feeling disappointed in myself, I came away from this situation with the realization that the path between training and achievement was not a linear relationship. Previously this had been my experience: I made the travel team, I made the college team, and I made the ACC team. However, hard work and sacrifice are not an automatic guarantee of accomplishment. In my case, I finished my collegiate career at one of the worst meets that I ever had in all my years of swimming. It was not how I had imagined the thousands of yards of practice would culminate but it awoke me from my naïve belief that if I pushed hard enough, nothing could interfere with my success. So many other factors can influence the outcome, so the focus must remain on the process instead. I will never lose my drive and determination in pursuit of a goal. That is something that has been hard-wired within me, but my failure to finish my swimming career as I had hoped shifted my focus from the end goal to the journey. Accolades lack meaning if I do not find value in the growth I underwent to reach that final point.

What role has research had in your preparation for medicine?

While most of my research experience was focused in the sociology and psychology disciplines, I enjoyed being exposed to the general research process. It has fostered my curiosity to learn and to always ask questions. Coming into college, I was unsure whether or not research was an avenue I wanted to pursue, but it is something I have become passionate about and is something that both interests and excites me. I decided to explore this further when I became a research assistant during my gap year at the Hospital for Special Surgery. Dr. Green, the pediatric orthopedic surgeon for whom I work, simultaneously acts as a clinician and researcher. With these two roles, he can easily identify patients that could be enrolled in a study and is more aware of potential study ideas that would significantly impact his population of patients.

Medicine is constantly evolving, and research plays a huge role in this. With the research experience I have had thus far, I observed that advancements in our knowledge, either clinical, psychological, or sociological, come from a desire to improve upon what has already been found. This process requires a team of individuals with varying credentials, and it also requires time. As I hope to enter the medical world, having this exposure to research enables me to acknowledge and appreciate what research can do for patients. Without it, physicians would not be offering treatments that in some cases have completely changed the way we care for certain diseases.

Tell us more about who you are. You may provide additional information that expands your self-identity where gender identification, racial and/or ethnic self¬ description, geographic origin, socioeconomic, academic, and/or other characteristics that define who you are as you contemplate a career that will interface with people who are similar AND dissimilar to you. You will have the opportunity below to tell us how you wish to be addressed, recognized and treated.

My parents used to tell the story about how they sometimes forgot I was in the room when I was a baby because I sat in my car seat without making a sound, just content to be in the room with everyone else. This desire to both be present but be observant did not change as I grew up. I would tend to hide behind my own set of self-identifiers: the swimmer, or the good student, or Kate and Christine’s little sister. I still enjoyed being around others, but I was not yet comfortable enough with myself to truly share who I was. When I came to Duke, I stopped hiding. Being away from home, outside of what was familiar, I could finally see clearly the person that my upbringing had shaped me to be, and I wanted to share that.

No longer did I want to be remembered as the swimmer or the good student, I wanted to be thought of as someone who was compassionate and kind and who always appreciated a good laugh. I had not completely lost my desire to observe from the periphery, but found that I could learn in a completely different way through my interactions with others. As I built relationships with both my peers and professors, I noticed how each person I met had a story. I read books so quickly just because I must know the character’s narrative and their ultimate fate, but in reality it is much more meaningful to hear a friend’s tale and maybe even play a role in it. When I think back upon my undergraduate career, it is difficult to recall specific moments. What I remember most vividly are the people and what they were able to teach me by sharing their own experiences, which usually were very unlike my own.

Medicine is a series of interactions with others, whether it is with patients, colleagues, or other hospital employees. It is improbable that we all share the same backgrounds, beliefs, and perspectives, yet this is why I am excited to pursue a career in this field. It will challenge me to think creatively and solve problems quickly, but it will also put my inherent desire to observe to use. Listening attentively as a means to discover the stories of all the unique individuals I encounter throughout my career will foster both my personal and professional growth.

From 50 Successful Harvard Medical School Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2020 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group