The original draft included powerful reasons for your admission. Its strengths included a clear passion for the desired field, a broad spectrum of experiences leading to advanced study, and sophisticated “insider’s” prose. Especially commendable was the introspection demonstrated by analyzing how each experience contributed to an overall praxis.

Your original document had some key strengths, including a sharp quantitative tone, insight into your preparation for USC, and well-presented highlights of your experience.

Your original personal statement had some key strengths, including a fine, quantitative tone, experience in both academia and the industry, and specific rationale for choosing UCL.