R. J. O’Leary, a retired Marine and three-war veteran who mentored my father, presented the offer: “Son, how ’bout I find you a real job next summer.” Fifteen years old, I had just completed two mind-numbing months of employment at a burger shack. I didn’t wait for an explanation; I accepted.

The Padlock Ranch stretches from the snow-capped Big Horn Mountains in Wyoming to the short-grass prairie of southern Montana. I arrived and joined the Forks crew: twelve men, fifty-six horses, and three thousand cattle. On my first day, the foreman, Tony, sat at the head of the dinner table. I walked in and he announced, “Here’s our cowboy from Rhode Island.” The room fell deathly silent.

It was branding season. I took the bruising job of wrestling calves. After branding season, I joined the fencing crew, five men led by the oldest hand, Morris. We worked ten-hour days planting railroad ties and anchoring fence braces. I admired Morris’s expertise and calm demeanor. But Morris never did any physical work, and he constantly aired his disdain for fencing.

After two weeks, Morris abruptly quit. Tony approached me. He said that I had earned his trust and wanted me to lead the crew. I replied that I would be honored but first wanted to consult Lon, now the oldest crew member (twice my age). Lon, a quiet man, was not interested in taking on more responsibility. I told Lon I respected him and asked for his support. “You’ve got it,” he replied.

Our team struggled at first. I remained focused and took on the unglamorous jobs, such as pounding the rocky soil to set fence posts into the ground. I spoke for the team and represented all members favorably to Tony, even when some performed poorly. This promoted loyalty within our group. I went to Lon for advice. Not only did he offer useful feedback, but he became more invested in the team. After two weeks, our performance improved. Soon, each member of the team pushed the others to work harder. This was my first true glimpse at leadership. It inspired me. Just like at the Forks, I now lead small teams of men who are older, more experienced, and generally more technically proficient than I am. The Forks taught me to take chances, lead from the front, promote a team mentality and loyalty, and work with the strongest members to improve the weakest.

Analysis

Despite using atypical elements like quotes, this essay comes across as incredibly thoughtful and well-organized with enough originality to make the applicant memorable. The essay exudes maturity. The author discusses a challenge that many young professionals face—trying to lead a group with members who possess more experience than the leader. Rather than use his own voice to describe the situation at the Padlock Ranch, the author brings in voices from three different characters in the story. His unique form of narrative effectively uses these voices to drive home key points and takeaways that might come across less powerfully if he paraphrased them. His use of quotes also saves him space in a word-constrained essay, allowing him to redeploy his words to describe the situation more deeply and emphasize his conclusion. Even though the conclusion is relatively brief in its explicit discussion of takeaways, the author coyly embeds his lessons learned throughout in places like Morris’s leadership strengths and interactions with Lon.

The author also comes across as a very humble and insightful leader. He provides evidence that he is willing to take direction from the people he is leading and “represent all team members favorably” to the boss. These traits will translate well to a business school environment where as much learning occurs on a peer-to-peer basis outside the classroom as from professors in the classroom.

Most importantly, the author directly connects this decade-old ranching experience to his current job where he leads “older, more experienced, and generally more technically proficient” employees. In doing so, he clearly demonstrates how this experience has had a meaningful impact on how he chooses to lead. Be sure to remember that what you’ve learned from the experience is much more important than the experience itself.

From 65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2009 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group