Cartwheels - Harvard - Business statement advice

Business statement advice

1

My most substantial accomplishment was my recovery from a motorcycle accident during my junior year at Tufts. On the way to Harvard Square, a drunk driver swerved in front of my oncoming motorcycle. My legs collided with the roof of her car, and I was catapulted through the air at over forty miles per hour, landing headfirst on the asphalt. I awoke from surgery eighteen hours later with four lacerated nerves and titanium rods securing my shattered femur, radius, ulna, and hand.

Following two weeks in the hospital, the orthopedic surgeon predicted I’d never have full use of my hand again, and suggested that I go to a special rehab clinic in California. “Rehab will fix my bones, but my brain will turn to mush,” I thought. I phoned school the next day to find out which of my classes were wheelchair accessible. I spent the next semester wheeling through the Boston winter to physical therapy three times a day while studying astronomy and Russian.

It was the most painful, and challenging, time of my life. At graduation two years later, I was awarded Tufts’s Ellen C. Myers Award for “outstanding scholarship in the face of adverse circumstances.” The next day, I went back to Massachusetts General, and did four cartwheels across my doctor’s office—never say never.

2

Next is the BroadbandCompass, a software program conceived in the basement of a nondescript building in a Denver-area business park. My five partners and I had only a dream, plus hand-me-down hardware and a few free ninety-day evaluation licenses for Web server software. We outlined the framework for our platform. Two years of strategy work at MediaOne Cable had convinced us it was time somebody made finding a broadband connection online as easy as finding a book on amazon.com.

Funded with about a nickel over a million dollars, we labored for two years in that basement writing software code and convincing America’s largest access providers, electronics retailers, and Web portals that our platform would change the way people looked for Internet access. We drudged through the Internet boom and the dot-com bust. But we made it. Today, our tool is leveraged by industry giants such as Office Depot, Microsoft, CompUSA, Circuit City, and numerous others. I am proud to say I wrote Product Specification V.1.0 for the technology that’s helped one in ten Internet users find a broadband connection.

3

I am proud of my music. I have been obsessed with entertaining large crowds ever since I first laid hands on a pair of turntables in high school. I began my career as a bilingual “turntablist” my senior year abroad at a nightclub called Taxman in Moscow. Since then, I have developed a repertoire that includes gigs in some of Europe’s and America’s largest nightclubs, including sellout crowds of more than two thousand people. I enjoy convincing critics that mixing records is an art form, not just aimless basement shenanigans. Following the abrupt demise of a nightclub venture (see “failure” question for details), I founded Amazing Productions, Inc., a mobile disc jockey service. Though entertaining has never been my full-time occupation, it has always been my full-time passion. My knack for technology gives Amazing Productions a competitive advantage in the Denver market, as our shows have become known for their array of high-tech marvels. These range from blends of musical media— including vinyl, CDs, and MP3s—to computer-driven acoustics, lasers, and special effects. We have operated profitably and have become a household name in the Denver DJ industry. Check us out at www.amazingdj.com.

Analysis

Daniel’s essay is a winner because it is both substantive and stylish. He displays a dynamic personality not only through his achievements but also through his vibrant prose. His action-packed writing captivates the reader with colorful adjectives and striking descriptions.

Daniel is a memorable candidate because he is able to show rather than tell. His four cartwheels across his doctor’s office display not only literary but also physical dexterity. He faces obstacles with humor and humility and paints himself as a fighter, not only through personal tragedy but also in the world of business. His diverse interests are captured with references to astronomy and Russian, programming and technology, and his passion for music. This essay

stands out because the author comes across as an impressive personality and someone you want to get to know more deeply. That is a winning combination you may want to keep in mind when crafting your own text.

From 65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2009 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group