My three most substantial accomplishments have been genuine turning points in my life. Although they were emotionally trying and demanded a great deal of thought, sacrifice, and self-reflection, ultimately they strengthened my character and allowed me to better determine the life I want to pursue and the person I want to be.

The first of these accomplishments was my decision to return to Colombia two years ago. Even though I was working in a Boston consulting firm, had a tightly knit social network, and a loving, three-year boyfriend, I felt I was living the wrong life. Socially, I missed the diversity to which I was privy during college, and professionally I was not passionate about my work and did not find it satisfying. Leaving the United States would have been a simple choice had it not been for its heart-breaking implications.

Though profoundly enamored at the time, I needed to choose which was dearest to my heart and which was most important to my life: the country for which I was passionate or the person whom I loved; a promising professional life in Colombia or a fulfilling emotional life in the United States. The agonizing and painful weeks before and after my departure forced me to reflect upon the life I had, the life I wanted to lead, and the compromises I was willing to make for it. I concluded that my priority was having a significant impact in Colombia, and it became clear to me that only while doing so could I be happy.

The second of these accomplishments was my college triumph over a four-year eating disorder. I was acutely bulimic, and food determined my daily schedule; the routine was sickening and the grueling power of habit overwhelming. This shameful secret weighed upon my conscience, yet I felt reaching out was acknowledging weakness. I eventually overcame this apprehension and unloaded my burden onto my most trusted friends. With their help and my steadfast resolve I finally rid myself of the horrendous addiction. This is unquestionably one of the hardest battles I have fought and one of my most substantial accomplishments. I learned to ask others for help and I understood just how effective a team could be, even if the problem to solve was inside me. I also discovered I could rally a team and be a leader of change, even when I was the one in need.

My third most substantial accomplishment was summiting a 6,075-meter volcano in Peru. Beyond the physical and mental strain of the climb itself, this event was meaningful because I realized how averse I was to failure, how thirsty I was for success, and how far I would go to avoid one and attain the other. Despite my numb body and severe light-headedness, I reached the summit because I refused to admit defeat: I could not accept this mountain was beyond my capacity and could not bear to leave the challenge unfinished. I peaked with blind determination and effort, fully aware the risk of doing so was unjustified.

This experience was significant because it tested my willpower and gave me the courage and confidence to take on challenges beyond my comfort zone. It was noteworthy, too, because I recognized I had to be aware of my limits and be cautious when pushing myself past them. Finally, it taught me about my actions and the criteria that ought to guide them: if success involved risk, I needed to ascertain first if it was worth undertaking.

I consider these my three most substantial accomplishments. While my peers and parents would surely have suggested others, I chose them because they have been challenging, difficult, and thought provoking: landmarks on the path of self-discovery.

Analysis

The first two achievements of this essay are remarkably fresh, candid, and self-exploratory. The author has chosen to focus on three mutually exclusive personal achievements rather than any career-related achievements.

The author subtly displays some of the essential characteristics of leadership through her three anecdotes. Through her first anecdote, she shows that she is clear-headed and capable of making tough decisions after careful deliberation. Through her second anecdote, she unlocks herself to expose her “shameful secret” and is not afraid to use graphic language to describe her bulimic life as “sickening.” As a result, she comes out as a self-aware, courageous, and determined individual who is not afraid to ask for help. The final anecdote is a confirmation of a resilient young woman who will not give up until she achieves what she has set out to do. Her final anecdote, however, dampens the unconventional spirit of overall essay. After the buildup of the previous two anecdotes, it falls somewhat short in terms of originality and lessons learned. Note that we are not critiquing the accomplishment per se—climbing the mountain would have certainly been a challenge. The lessons learned, however, are not persuasive and unique enough to set this example apart from anyone else who may have climbed a mountain.

The author has proven that it is possible to display real accomplishments and demonstrate leadership in everyday life. The author is a doer. The essay is successful because the author has very effectively told the reader why these achievements are important to her personally. On the whole, these achievements tell a coherent story and help us paint a cohesive picture of what drives this person. It is important to reiterate that accomplishments in admission essays shine brighter with a meaningful and personal context and help the admissions committee learn what is important to you.

From 65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2009 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group