Knowledge is power - Harvard - Free sample business personal statement

Free sample business personal statement

Google went from college dorm project to search-engine hegemon in twenty months. It took Steve Jobs only a short while to figure out the stickiness of the iPod. Netflix is adding eighty thousand subscribers a month. In the private sector innovation and adoption happen rapidly. A great idea, capable management, and the unwavering belief that you’ve either tapped an untapped market or you’re creating a new one, inspire constant devotion to pushing the boundaries of what’s possible.

Public education is the antithesis of this. We’ve been doing the same thing, albeit worse now than ever before, for more than a century. The United States now ranks twenty-first out of the OECD’s twenty-nine industrial nations in eighth grade math. More than a million kids dropped out of high school last year—twice the total population of the city of Boston; worse than that, of those who did graduate high school and enroll in college, roughly 40 percent will need remediation. This bankrupt system is ripe for some creative destruction, and in a small corner of California, in “middle class America,” that’s what I plan to do.

I imagine an America where our schools can do better, where public-private partnerships, dot-com inspiration, and savvy edupreneurs can revolutionize “the business of education” in America. It’s already starting to happen in some areas—KIPP (Knowledge Is Power Program), Aspire, Achievement First, Uncommon Schools—but their theory of change is all wrong. Their “no excuses” approach gives most districts lots of excuses as to why it’s not scalable.

At the Beacon Education Network we’re going to take the same dollars and demonstrate how district schools can increase efficiency, become more accountable for results, recruit and retain higher quality teachers, and deliver an improved student experience. It’s not just about money. It’s about rearranging the allocation of resources to increase productivity and paying attention to the prevailing research (there are just as many inconvenient truths about education as there are about global warming). It’s also about reimagining what’s possible.

The same way Google, Apple, and Netflix are shining a light on what’s possible in the private sector, we need a similar Beacon for improving the management of public education. And that’s my dream—first with Beacon, then to the Gates Foundation, maybe to New Schools Venture Fund, and eventually to Capitol Hill. I can’t envision a more fulfilling or high-impact career than infusing competition into public education, improving school efficiency, reducing the anti-meritocratic influence of teachers unions, and improving the quality and pay of great teachers.

Analysis

James crafts a very effective essay, marked by passionate intensity and unbending logic. He successfully solves the problem encountered by many nontraditional applicants who must explain why a business career makes sense for them.

In this case, James implicitly parallels the needs of the American education system to those of a well-run business. He achieves this by opening with a general statement on how ideas can turn into thriving businesses. He follows with facts about the U.S. education system, with the direct implication that it is in dire need of new ideas. The introduction sets the stage for his vision of an improved public education system in the United States. Furthermore, James writes compellingly about his views and provides specific actions he believes should be taken, thereby delivering a hopeful yet realistic vision. Moreover, James’s passion for education is clear, making the reader want him to realize his vision as it sets the premises for a better future for many. Indeed, James speaks as an impassioned leader who is likely to gather many followers and have a significant impact on communities in which he will live. In doing so, James successfully positions himself as one of the leaders Harvard Business School seeks to educate: leaders who make a difference in the world.

The only critique of this essay is that James spends the entire first paragraph setting the scene for his vision. In an essay limited to four hundred words, every sentence is valuable. James could have benefited from spending a sentence or two describing his background and why an MBA will help him achieve his goals.

From 65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2009 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group