Leader of the pack - Harvard - Business school application essay help

Business school application essay help

I want to become the mayor of Cartagena, a congresswoman in the House and Senate, a cabinet member and, votes permitting, even more. I wish to make a significant impact in my country and I wish to do it through public service.

This choice has been a longtime goal, and my work with the Colombian government has only served to confirm it. I would like to help Colombia grow and prosper, and I believe I have the capacity to make a substantial contribution. I find giving to the country both personally enriching and professionally fulfilling, and I think only by doing that can I be truly happy. I am passionate about Colombia and the decisions I have made throughout my life have been geared toward better preparing myself to serve it.

I attended Exeter and Harvard, for instance, because I yearned for a very rigorous education. I took a year off between one and the other to learn about Colombia at the University of the Andes and to strengthen my social network while there. I worked at Dove Consulting to develop valuable strategic thinking skills and I returned to Colombia to follow the path of my chosen career. Finally, I decided to work at the National Planning Department of Colombia (DNP) because it was a fertile training ground for future leaders and because it would acquaint me with the economic and political realities of the country.

I would like to pursue an MBA because I want to become a well-rounded leader in the public sector and I need to build the skills I am still missing: finance, accounting, economics, general business administration, and a solid understanding of the private sector. Despite the importance of correct business management in government, the latter is sparse among my peers. There is more to government than policy, and yet few—myself included—are trained to take on much beyond that. Although an MPA/MPP would no doubt also be useful, those programs would develop competencies I already have and would not necessarily delve upon those still foreign.

Through politics I want to make a meaningful difference in Colombia, and the transformational leadership training provided by an HBS MBA will be pivotal in that quest. HBS’s extensive network of Latin American alumni, its Buenos Aires Research Center, its Latin American Business Conference, and its proximity to the Kennedy School of Government will furthermore connect me to the region’s current and future leaders and help me understand the interplay between business and government.

Analysis

This applicant’s essay is striking for the boldness with which it communicates her vision. In no uncertain terms, the author states that she hopes to lead her country, Colombia. This essay is well structured in that it explains where the author is coming from, where she hopes to go, and why she needs an MBA specifically from Harvard Business School. In discussing HBS, the author shows that she has done her homework and has learned about aspects of the school that truly differentiate it from its competitors.

There is one weakness in this response, however. Because the author does not mention the specific steps that she intends to take to achieve her vision, there is a credibility gap in the essay. The audience is left thinking: It is great to hope to run a country, but how does the author intend to get there? What are her immediate post MBA goals? In the fourth paragraph, rather than articulating why she is not pursuing a public policy degree, the author would have been better served to lay out a clear plan for the future. The reference to a road not taken is an unnecessary digression from the author’s main point.

Ultimately, this essay is a persuasively written, passionate testament from a motivated candidate with a bold and different career vision that distinguishes her from other applicants.

From 65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2009 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group