Extraordinary Opportunities - Harvard - Sample college statement
Hometown: Wrightsville, Pennsylvania, USA
High School: Public school, 170 students in graduating class
Ethnicity: Black, African American
Gender: Female
GPA: 4.52 out of 4.0
SAT: Reading 740, Math 620, Writing 690
ACT: 32
SAT Subject Tests Taken: Mathematics Level 1, Mathematics Level 2, Biology E/M, Chemistry, Literature, U.S. History
Extracurriculars: Founder and editor in chief of the newspaper the Knightly Journal, president of Eastern York High School Parliamentary Procedures Team, Model United Nations co-captain and chairman of the World Health Organization, five-year Science Olympiad Division B and C medalist, freshman and sophomore class president
Awards: Valedictorian, AP Scholar with Honors, Pennsylvania School Board Association first-place essay contest and speech winner, New York Times Junior Essay Contest second-place winner, Minority Introduction to Engineering and Science first-place team in genomics research at the Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard
Major: Biomedical Engineering
Sample college statement
I shouldn’t be here right now. My life could have never been. There are 70 trillion genetic combinations to make human beings. Our chromosomes could have aligned to make the best human being: a person who has the strength of Lance Armstrong, the cunning of Albert Einstein, and the kindness of Mother Teresa all in one. But that didn’t happen. Billions of chromosome combinations for a human being were possible, and I was born. I am not a superhuman being, but I do intend on making my life extraordinary.
I have every resource to make my life extraordinary. I know this because I am growing up in America, the land of opportunity. The land where anything is possible, as long as you work for it. My father came to America from Ghana with only a pair of pants, two shirts, and $100 in his pocket. Today, he is an engineer. He always expressed to me the value of education, and I remember the long car rides home from school when he would stress to me: “Brianna, hard work, hard work always pays off.”
In my school, I am often the only black face in a classroom; but I do not let this bother me. In the classroom, regardless of race, gender, or interests, knowledge is the great equalizer. I know that the knowledge I gain is not only for myself, but for every child in Ghana. Some nights I stay up and think how my life would be the same as theirs if I hadn’t been lucky enough to have parents that came to America. Since I am here, in America, I will make the most out of every opportunity. I will learn so that I can pass on the gift of learning. Every extra hour I study, every time I sacrifice going out with friends, every night I stay up late, I tell myself that it will all pay off for a greater cause.
Last summer I was given an extraordinary educational opportunity when I participated in the Minority Introduction to Engineering and Sciences (MITES). MITES is a six-week summer program at MIT that immersed me in an academic world I had never known. I was surrounded by some of the top students in the nation in an environment that pushed me to learn and see the world in ways I had never envisioned. That level of academia is something I love.
During MITES I had the opportunity to take a genomic elective at the Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard. On one of my last days there, I was standing in front of the Broad, and I looked up and realized it was here that I felt most alive. To know that I was about to enter a building that had so much potential to discover anything gave me a feeling of excitement and happiness I have never felt about anything else. It made me certain that I want to be a medical researcher.
In the lab, I was able to see for myself the capabilities of genomic research. The most fascinating and exciting part of all this was that it may soon be possible to tell exactly why someone is sick just by looking at their microbiome. This breakthrough would have enormously positive ramifications in Ghana and other parts of Africa.
My dream is to continue this research. The Broad is currently working on research in conjunction with Harvard that delves into areas that I envision great strides being made in. I want to contribute my knowledge and passion into these extraordinary strides.
Human genetics could have aligned to make a perfect human being, but they did not. They made me as I am now. I am aware that even though I may be flawed, I have been given this one precious life. At the end of my life I want to be able to honestly say that I used all the potential I was given; there is nothing left. Never before has there been so much technology, opportunity, and ability to make the absolute most out of a human life. And not only to improve one’s own situation, but also the lives of others. I know that I would not have the opportunities granted to me if other people before me had not worked and innovated. I feel that it is my turn to innovate, to improve the lives of mankind for generations long after I am gone. To follow my passion and make my life absolutely extraordinary.
REVIEW
Brianna’s essay does an excellent job of mixing together her own personal self-reflection on her values and mentality as well as anecdotes from her life that help to provide a clearer picture of her personality. While many applicants might choose to discuss one compelling idea through the lens of a single story, Brianna chooses to discuss her idea—namely, that she refuses to allow herself to stand in her own way—through multiple stories that all contribute to a larger narrative. Each paragraph stands alone as insight into Brianna’s character as a motivated and determined person, but they weave together well. This sort of approach can sometimes be a bit risky: by telling too many different stories, an applicant runs the risk of not providing enough depth in each, but in general, this essay does a good job of remaining cohesive while still highlighting a variety of key stories that this applicant has to tell.
From 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, 5th Edition edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2017 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.
