How to slay a dragon - Yale - Sample college admissions essay
Hometown: Wallingford, CT
Year: First-Year
College: Silliman
Major: Environmental Studies
Extracurriculars: Yale Student Environmental Coalition; Project Bright; Yale Scientific Magazine; Camp Kesem; Splash & Sprout; Silliman Head of College Aide and Event Aide; Silliman Housing Committee
Sample college admissions essay
Profile
As a four-year clarinetist in a state championship-winning marching band, a set designer for shows and musicals, a member of the mock trial team, and an active player in student government and the environmental action club, Katie Schlick had an extremely rewarding time at Mark T. Sheehan High School, a public high school in Wallingford, Connecticut.
Katie believes that what got her to Yale was her willingness to challenge herself and push her normally shy self outside of her comfort zone—by trying out public speaking and involving herself in many communities in high school—despite not taking every AP class offered or being too wrapped up in boosting her GPA for college applications.
“I didn’t put all my eggs in one basket and didn’t rely on just academics or one extracurricular,” Katie said. “I tried my best to be well-rounded and was genuinely interested in what I did. I had amazing teachers that prepared me well, and it helped to have my sister and parents guiding to make sure I sounded like me in my essays.”
Katie graduated among a class of 220 students at a school where most go on to attend state schools not realizing that financial aid can often make attendance possible at otherwise out-of-reach private schools. When Katie’s older sister went through the college application process, her parents also believed that Yale couldn’t be a possibility, but her guidance counselor pushed her sister to give it a shot.
A few years later when Katie herself was applying to schools, she knew Yale was her top choice, having heard stories from her sister of the amazing time she’d had in New Haven.
Since arriving on campus, Katie has enjoyed exploring the Gothic architecture and finding study spots between the different courtyards and coffee shops. She counts Spring Fling and the Harvard–Yale football game as some of her favorite memories. Passionate about the environment, Katie has found inspiration from environmental conferences, incredible professors at the School of Forestry and Environmental Studies, prominent political and environmental speakers on campus, and the enthusiasm of her peers.
Katie’s essays include her Common App personal statement and four of her Yale supplemental essays.
ESSAY 1 (COMMON APP):
Personal Statement
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
FACING AN ALLIGATOR
There I stood, face to face with an alligator. The sight of the reptile frightened me into a state of paralysis. It was, in truth, a stuffed alligator—the emerald-green mascot of my beloved elementary school—but still we stared each other down as if confronting one another on the banks of the Amazon. My kindergarten teacher had asked that my classmates and I engage in short dialogues with the alligator to strengthen our social skills.
And I just could not do it.
Eventually, my teacher coaxed me to her desk with her sunny smile. I timidly held the conversation there, closer to the shadow of her desk and further from the army of eyes of my classmates poised at their desks, watching me.
Public speaking exercises followed me like paparazzi throughout my school career. In my sophomore year, my biology teacher assigned us the challenging Science Fair Project. I was as daunted as I was exhilarated by the prospect of leading my very own scientific research for the first time, and I chose to study the creatures which have one of the most intimate relationships with the health of our soils: worms.
I embarked on daily treks to my basement for five months to observe the status of the one thousand worms that (much to my mother’s dismay) were temporarily residing there. I translated my investigation of the effect of detergents on worms into nearly fifty pages of graphs and analyses, which paved the way for me to conclude, like my favorite heroine Nancy Drew would connect evidence and a motive to a criminal, that common household cleaners infiltrating the worms’ soil suffocated and thus severely incapacitated or killed them.
Seven of my peers and I were chosen to present our experiments and findings to the biology classes in a judged competition, the culmination of our many efforts.
The broader environmental issues of pollution and the impact of chemicals on our Earth—ideas at the heart of my experiment—forged the staircase up which I climbed to gain the courage to take my place behind the podium. I gazed into the audience of fellow students, teachers, and administrators who were studying my elaborate, earthen-colored trifold display as it proudly towered over me.
The voice I lacked on that day back in kindergarten slowly emerged with each breath I took as I addressed my audience and summarized the results of my research and the larger meaning behind it.
I discussed the paradox of water—how its color symbolizes purity, but how easily the everyday actions of human beings transform it into a toxic poison. Stunned, during my experiment, at the sight of shriveled-up, asphyxiated worms, I felt I had witnessed the aftermath of an environmental battlefield. While speaking, I could not disguise my dismay at the notion that each of us unknowingly pollutes when simply washing our cars and creating runoff or neglecting faulty pipes oozing soapy water—and this does not even begin to take into account industrial-level pollution of water sources. I impressed upon my peers that we cannot procrastinate solving the clean water crisis in the same way we delay lengthy homework assignments or chores—this environmental emergency calls us into combat right now.
Standing behind that podium two years ago, I discovered the power of my own voice. I planted my feet firmly onto the stage, realizing I had unearthed a passion about which I could speak confidently and ardently. It is this desire to better our relationship with the environment that will continue to propel my quiet voice, I hope, for a very long time.
No longer paralyzed at the thought of speaking in front of many curious eyes and ears, I scanned the audience and recognized a few kindergarten classmates whose faces, years before, had deterred me from sharing my words.
This time, I met their stares and grinned, compelling them to listen.
ESSAY 2 (YALE SUPPLEMENT):
Why does Yale appeal to you?
There is an electricity in the air at Yale. Each student walks through campus with a poise, a purpose. The commitment of Yale’s community to sustainability inspires me, and I would enjoy exploring the Yale Farm (and its hearth-oven-pizza Fridays!). The projects “Climate Resiliency” and “Environmental Issues of the American West” in Yale’s Center for Environmental Law and Policy fascinate me because I would love studying the implementation of climate-protective measures in underdeveloped nations or defending Americans whose lands have been exploited by energy companies. Yale’s wealth of research opportunities would immerse me in both my scientific and creative passions.
ESSAY 3 (YALE SUPPLEMENT):
Short takes
Who or what is a source of inspiration for you?
My sister’s humility, kindness, and intellect have motivated me throughout high school. She excels at what she loves—writing—but she does not let that fact hold the pen for her, and works tirelessly.
If you could live for a day as another person, past or present, who would it be? Why?
Marie Curie–she was an extraordinary, fiercely dedicated female scientist. I would love to take inspiration from her curious spirit and perseverance to succeed—even lead—in a maledominated field.
You are teaching a Yale course. What is it called?
“It’s Not You, It’s Me: Humanity’s Troubled Relationship with the Environment, and What We Can Do About It”
Most Yale freshmen live in suites of four to six students. What would you contribute to the dynamic of your suite?
I would look forward to being enriched by my roommates, always ready to learn about and support their passions. And as I love baking, my roommates will come home on occasion to a smile and a cupcake!
ESSAY 4 (YALE SUPPLEMENT):
Reflect on a time in the last few years when you felt genuine excitement learning about something.
The cold glass touched my eyelashes as I blinked, in awe of what the 400x power compound microscope magnified beneath me. My eye focused in on the minute creatures—protists, as my classmates and I had learned in the preceding class—propelling themselves with the help of long tails called flagella, “false feet” aptly referred to as pseudopods, or strange hairs named cilia. I followed the amoeba’s amorphous trail through the glass of the microscope’s viewing slide, intently watching it project sections of its oozing self and then scooting to that new position. I was absolutely fascinated by these tiny organisms, even as my classmates’ murmurs of disgust chorused throughout the classroom while they poked and prodded. Overwhelmed by how even the small bodies of the protists could possess such visually complex systems of motion, I loved peering through the lens and observing, like a child gazing through a kaleidoscope at the shifting geometry of form and color. Every creature on which we had spent days scribbling notes in class had come alive. I understood that I was standing in the company of one of the most basic forms of life simply existing—moving, floating— and it was humbling to pause and witness that.
ESSAY 5 (YALE SUPPLEMENT):
Write about something that you love to do.
We start in the last weeks of August. Slimy with sunscreen and sweat, a hundred members of Sheehan’s Marching Band swarm the turf to learn the field show. We get into the spirit of the show’s theme by coordinating visual movements to the music;
we spend hours perfecting postures, step sizes, and field formations; we endlessly practice music—all while sharing laughs and forever memories with our best friends.
September hits, and I cannot deny that despite 6 a.m. wake-ups and stacks of homework as tall as me, the beginning of school marks the best time of year because fall means the official start of marching band season. I wave goodbye to my Tuesdays and Saturdays as rehearsals and competitions take over. Our woodwind bus erupts into song as we maintain the tradition of singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” before competing. I cannot wait to put on the burgundy and gold uniform and march onto the turf as the announcer asks the Marching Titans to take the field in competition. As the drum major calls us to attention, I slide my white-gloved fingers over the keys of my clarinet, breathlessly anxious, and ready. He counts off.
Proudly, I inhale air and exhale a melody.
From 50 Yale Admission Success Stories: And the Essay That Made Them Happen, edited by the Yale Daily News Staff. Copyright © 2020 by the authors
and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.