Lesson 4: What Not to Write
In the admissions rounds where the essays matter most, admissions committee members spout a common refrain when discussing less-compelling applications: “I’m not convinced this person wants to be a doctor.” If you’re truly convinced you want to be a doctor (which, if you’re reading this guide and you’ve already done the MCAT, you should be), then your essays shouldn’t sow any doubt whatsoever about your intentions.
If you have a specific experience or set of experiences that have inspired you to become a doctor and can write about them cogently, then you shouldn’t have this issue internally. The problem emerges, however, when we don’t stop to reflect on why it is that we’ve done the things we’ve done. What was the reason behind pursuing that medical transcription job? Why was it that you got so much pleasure from shadowing that surgeon?
Good essays are grounded in the specificity of a particular experience. In a medical school statement, the time scale of these experiences you describe is generally shorter than many often think.
While you may discuss a set of experiences lasting several months or years, you must also ground that experience you discuss in an event sometimes lasting minutes or even seconds. These shorter experiences are crucial in contextualizing the narratives that begin to explain your longer trajectory and, ultimately, the motivations that make the case for med school being the inevitable next step.
Compelling & Less Compelling Examples
Just like clockwork, almost every Saturday, we would hear the same dispatch: “Ambulance to 92 Oakhurst Lane.”
Every week, we lifted Sue onto the stretcher, and every week, I listened intently over the noise of traffic for her pulse. And, every week, I got to know Sue better.
I learned about her son who had just joined the army and the depression after her divorce that caused her to lose control of her weight. I learned how it became a struggle to get out of bed and how her house became a metaphorical prison.
Going to the hospital became an escape from the daily drudgery and downward spiral of her life. In the safe and protective hands of the physicians and nurses, she could not only understand why her body was changing the way it was but begin to take back some measure of control. Medicine, I realized, was not just about the guts and glory and miracle of saving a life, but about the person who had that life. Sue went to the emergency room not just for a cure, but for the understanding of her body and her place in the world.
This is a wonderful example of a description of a very specific event—the regular EMT visits to the home of a woman struggling with depression—that highlights the author’s understanding, through experience, of the complexity of medical practice.
Medicine is more than just providing a cure. It’s about listening, empathizing, and attempting to understand the underlying social and economic circumstances driving or exacerbating health issues. The writer demonstrates through this example her understanding of these nuances. The excerpt also indirectly demonstrates the lengths the author went through to learn more about the profession, experiencing both the satisfying and troubling aspects of medicine. By highlighting her understanding of these complex systems at play, she also shows her genuine desire to practice medicine.
Here’s another strong example:
At ten years old, I faced my first critical decision in the hospital setting: whether or not to give my grandfather a cookie. He never had a sweet tooth before, but Alzheimer's disease made him unrecognizable as he yelled and pleaded for the dessert in my hand.
I froze, unsure of how to communicate and scared that he would choke on solid food. I knew I wanted to help, but I did not know how. Learning how to help has been the focus of my undergraduate career and is my drive towards becoming a physician.
This example takes the reader by surprise through its remarkable first sentence. What is a ten-year-old doing making decisions in a hospital setting? The author sets up a jarring juxtaposition that encourages the reader to continue.
Upon continuing, the reader faces another unexpected frame—the deliberation over providing a cookie to someone the author loves but who is tied up in the complexities of Alzheimer’s. This vignette serves as a broader conceit for the author’s desire to help while being caught up in the process of trying to figure out how—a process that, while developed, will be further cultivated through medical school. This article makes a complex case for an understanding of broader ethical issues at play in practicing medicine and the author’s interest in further learning about these issues through med school.
Here's a less strong example:
In high school, I realized that I was most interested in science and math courses. I like being able to find the correct answers to problems and learning about subjects I relate to.
An example like this is less effective because it is generic. There are no ways for the reader to understand the science and math curriculum of the writer’s high school. How did the writer relate to those subjects? What was the outcome?
Here’s another less compelling example:
Swimming has always been a place of comfort for me and the pool is an environment where I can be myself. I believe that this environment creates an empowering atmosphere that extends far beyond swimming and into my everyday life.
While better than the previous, this example isn’t as effective because it doesn’t reveal how the author can be himself. How does swimming empower the author, exactly? Beginning with a set of unspecific, generic statements does not operate as compellingly as if we were able to learn about the events or struggles that proved formative and empowering.
Cliché Essay Topics
While there are particular tropes within undergraduate admissions that one is told to avoid at all costs—the mission trip essay, the sports injury, the bad grade at school—cliché topics for medical school essays are harder to pinpoint. By now, most medical school application essay topics have been written about already. However, what you need to make your essay stand out are specificity and reflection.
Many essays will recount personal experiences in and around healthcare. Whether that’s a fishing accident or a parent with Parkinson’s, what’s important to include is not only the specificity of those experiences but also a reflection on what those experiences meant to you.
It’s one thing to discuss a traumatic experience with a dying uncle, but it’s another to highlight how the doctor’s bedside manner inspired you to volunteer in a hospital to confirm that you also want to help uplift the sick, even when death is inevitable.
Using specific descriptions to guide a discussion about goals and trajectories is crucial to making a compelling essay. Early essay drafts often include either specific descriptions to no end or a broad overview of goals and trajectories without any concrete grounding in experience. The key to a successful essay is uniting these two components, so that specific descriptions guide the reader towards an understanding of your goals and how these specific descriptions influenced these goals.
Ultimately, you have experiences that convinced you to want to become a doctor. Clearly expressing how those experiences impact your desire to become a doctor is just as important.
