Lesson 7: 5300 Characters
As discussed in Section 1, the Personal Comment essay on the Primary Application is generally the essay that one should spend the most time brainstorming, writing, and polishing. The length of this essay—around one-and-a-half pages single spaced, or 800–1000 words—allows applicants to really zoom in and discuss a moment (or, sometimes, a sequence of well-described moments) that provide foundational reasons for one to want to become a doctor.
The simplest and generally most successful essays utilize the following format:
Strong introduction to draw in the reader
Description of an event (or two that shifted the trajectory or confirmed a desire to be a doctor)
Reflection on the aforementioned event and its influence on the writer
A strong conclusion that ties everything together
Even if some of the writing that follows in the main body text isn’t the best (although it should be perfect if you’re spending time applying to med school), some of this can be overlooked with a strong introduction. A strong introduction draws readers in and convinces them that whatever it is you wrote is worth their time.
The easiest way to write a strong introduction is to quickly place the reader in a particular scene through heavy description. Here are some strong examples of opening paragraphs with heavy descriptions that helped propel some students into Top 10 Schools:
“His house was disheveled and well off the road and seemed to be slowly melting into the creek that ran in front of it. It was the second day of the two-week data collection period of my research into the Costa Rican healthcare system. My confidence to knock on strangers’ doors and ask them about their views on my topic was steadily increasing.”
“For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a chef, which is interesting because I am a terrible cook. I can follow a recipe easily enough, but attempting to create something new and experimenting with recipes usually led, and continues to lead, to disaster. I used to have this fake oven I would use to pretend to make green eggs and ham with coffee for breakfast. When I got tired of cooking fake meals, I started asking to help cook with my parents.”
Other strong introductions take relatively ordinary statements and flip them on their head, encouraging the reader to want to learn more.
Take, for example, the following opening sentence: “Although recollection of one’s birth is a biological impossibility, I clearly recall the situation surrounding my second birth into a sterilized hospital room.” This sentence is strong because of the open-endedness that is created by the writer. What is this second birth? What was happening in the sterilized hospital room?
The writer further complicates this introduction through an additional detail: “I, however, was not the focus of this second birth; the patient was. M.W., a Parkinsonian patient, was about to undergo a neurosurgical procedure to eliminate his involuntary tremor.” The writer does not use the term birthing to discuss a literal birth. Rather, the act of birthing is an intellectual birth, which the writer continues developing throughout the essay.
By utilizing uncommon definitions to describe the process of intellectual and personal development, the writer is creating a paradox—a statement that upon first read seems contradictory, nebulous, or curious. The act of resolving and redefining is accomplished throughout the remainder of the piece. By introducing an idea so irresistibly mysterious, the writer forces the reader to examine the rest of the essay with intent, creating connection, and, ultimately, an inclination to accept you.
Remember, the readers are initially going to be poring through hundreds of applications each day. It’ll probably be very boring for them.
They’ll probably be reading lots of statements like, “I love music. Whether I’m listening, playing, or composing, I love when it sounds nice.” Writing clearly, descriptively, and with verve enables an applicant to stand out and perhaps make the admissions reader’s day a little less boring.
Make the reader’s day less boring.
