Juste desserts - Harvard - Sample business school application essay

Sample business school application essay

As the London Shine Project champion during 2003/04, I taught English and Math to students in disadvantaged schools. The program director approached me to help students with behavioral difficulties.

Meeting these children compelled me to get involved even though I lacked formal training. At the age of ten, these students had been caught in the destructive web of smashing windows, shoplifting, bullying younger students, and constantly underperforming academically.

Instead of a PwC partner or a potential client, my key target had transformed into an international student who knew twenty words in English, mostly obscenities. This was a defining moment for me as I felt unprepared as a leader. “How can I help a child whose opening greeting to me is an obscenity?” I thought.

I requested enrollment in a course for dealing with difficult kids. The course, though useful, could not prepare me for the upcoming obstacles. I created a flexible plan to account for students’ unpredictable reactions. I had to be empathetic and effective while remaining within the scope of U.K. child protection laws.

A friendly get-together with ice cream served as an icebreaker. I carried out further sessions in the congenial setting of the school park. I encouraged students to discuss what made them happy. The answers ranged from “spending time with my granddad” to “beating up students.” I chose to listen without being judgmental. The students slowly opened up after I shared my life experiences. I was able to earn their trust by being honest yet fun.

In group sessions, we used anecdotes to discuss the accepted values of society. We practiced simple anger management techniques like counting from one to ten. I channeled their energies in creative and harmless pursuits such as oil painting and drawing facial expressions to express feelings. While these sessions helped me in understanding them, they helped the children in managing their aggression.

When the student who specialized in breaking windows gave me his beautiful oil painting, I understood that my time and energy had been well spent. After a year of mentoring, three of the four students are now calmer, kinder, and perform in the top 10 percent of their class. Personally, I progressed as a leader by addressing my weakness of impatience. This experience taught me that as an agent of change, one does not necessarily need corporate experience; instead, one requires creativity, patience, and emotional intelligence.

Analysis

The writer of this essay creates a study of contrast in her defining leadership experience. While the applicant clearly has significant corporate experience, the encounter with “difficult kids” shows how the writer overcame adversity in an unfamiliar environment. The strength of the essay lies in the deliberate attention to detail surrounding the levers that motivated the children to change. In explaining the steps to reform underperforming students, the applicant clearly conveys her logic, not requiring the reader to connect the dots alone. The high level of detail and the honest description of the emotions she experienced add credibility to the story. Furthermore, the author leaves the impression that she is a strong teacher, mentor, and problem-solver, admirable qualities in a leader.

This essay would have been stronger if the applicant had spent less time describing the situation and more time developing her takeaways. While the logic to the applicant’s actions and positive outcome are abundantly clear, the author slights herself by dedicating only the two final sentences to the lessons she learned from this experience. While her takeaway is clear, logical, and profound, more of the essay is about the journey of self-discovery than the discovery itself. Try not to fall into a similar trap. If you find yourself at a loss for words, reflect on how the lessons have impacted subsequent endeavors. Talk about how you may still be working to overcome your weakness. Just make sure that the discovery—your concluding thought to the reader—does not underwhelm following an otherwise strong essay.

From 65 Successful Harvard Business School Application Essays edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2009 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group