Fetish For Writing - Harvard - College personal statement editing
Hometown: Shanghai, China
High School: Private school, 153 students in graduating class
Ethnicity: Asian
Gender: Male
GPA: 98 out of 100
SAT: Reading 800, Math 800, Writing 800
ACT: n/a
SAT Subject Tests Taken: U.S. History, Mathematics Level 2, Biology E/M
Extracurriculars: Model United Nations founder and president; math competition president; theater, various responsibilities, 7 seasons
Awards: Best Delegate at Model United Nations conferences at Harvard and Princeton; Outstanding Delegate at Penn; AMC school champion and AIME qualifier
Major: Applied Mathematics
College personal statement editing
I have a fetish for writing.
I’m not talking about crafting prose or verses, or even sentences out of words. But simply constructing letters and characters from strokes of ink gives me immense satisfaction. It’s not quite calligraphy, as I don’t use calligraphic pens or Chinese writing brushes; I prefer it simple, spontaneous, and subconscious. I often find myself crafting characters in the margins of notebooks with a fifty-cent pencil, or tracing letters out of thin air with anything from chopsticks to fingertips.
The art of handwriting is a relic in the information era. Why write when one can type? Perhaps the Chinese had an answer before the advent of keyboards. “One’s handwriting,” said the ancient Chinese, “is a painting of one’s mind.” After all, when I practice my handwriting, I am crafting characters.
My character.
I particularly enjoy meticulously designing a character, stroke by stroke, and eventually building up, letter by letter, to a quote personalized in my own voice. Every movement of the pen and every droplet of ink all lead to something profound, as if the arches of every “m” are doorways to revelations. After all, characters are the building blocks of language, and language is the only vehicle through which knowledge unfolds. Thus, in a way, these letters under my pen are themselves representations of knowledge, and the delicate beauty of every letter proves, visually, the intrinsic beauty of knowing. I suppose handwriting reminds me of my conviction in this visual manner: through learning answers are found, lives enriched, and societies bettered.
Moreover, perhaps this strange passion in polishing every single character of a word delineates my dedication to learning, testifies my zeal for my conviction, and sketches a crucial stroke of my character.
“We—must—know . . .” the mathematician David Hilbert’s voice echoes in resolute cursive at the tip of my pen, as he, addressing German scientists in 1930, propounds the goal of modern intellectuals. My pen firmly nods in agreement with Hilbert, while my mind again fumbles for the path to knowledge.
The versatility of handwriting enthralls me. The Chinese developed many styles—called hands—of writing. Fittingly, each hand seems to parallel one of my many academic interests. Characters of the Regular Hand (kai shu), a legible script, serve me well during many long hours when I scratch my head and try to prove a mathematical statement rigorously, as the legibility illuminates my logic on paper. Words of the Running Hand (xing shu), a semi-cursive script, are like the passionate words that I speak before a committee of Model United Nations delegates, propounding a decisive course of action: the words, both spoken and written, are swift and coherent but resolute and emphatic. And strokes of the Cursive Hand (cao shu) resemble those sudden artistic sparks when I deliver a line on stage: free, spontaneous, but emphatic syllables travel through the lights like rivers of ink flowing on the page.
Yet the fact that the three distinctive hands cooperate so seamlessly, fusing together the glorious culture of writing, is perhaps a fable of learning, a testament that the many talents of the Renaissance Man could all be worthwhile for enriching human society. Such is my methodology: just like I organize my different hands into a neat personal style with my fetish for writing, I can unify my broad interests with my passion for learning.
“. . . We—will—know!” Hilbert finishes his adage, as I frantically slice an exclamation mark as the final stroke of this painting of my mind.
I must know: for knowing, like well-crafted letters, has an inherent beauty and an intrinsic value. I will know: for my versatile interests in academics will flow like my versatile styles of writing.
I must know and I will know: for my fetish for writing is a fetish for learning.
REVIEW
In his personal essay, Jiafeng describes his passion for writing, linking how he crafts letters and Chinese characters with his insatiable thirst for knowledge and how he molds his identity. The essay succeeds in using vivid verbs, clever language, and imagery to tackle this subject, providing essay readers with insight into some aspects of Jiafeng’s personality: dedication, diligence, patience, and persistence.
While the essay incorporates quotations, adage, and other Chinese- and English-language snippets, mirroring the additive process of writing that Jiafeng describes, the piece would have benefitted from more personal authorial anecdotes. His words could have packed a greater punch if he had given the reader a glimpse into his specific world, rather than simply outlining the major takeaway points.
The writing at times comes across as too directed, heavy-handed and a bit too impersonal. Indeed, many prospective college applicants find solace in reading and writing. What aspects of this story could derive solely from Jiafeng? How can he jump from the page and reveal who he is, rather than merely situating himself among the words he shapes? The end of the essay’s focus on different styles of Chinese handwriting begins to focus on tackling those questions, and Jiafeng could have deepened his exploration into why he loves to write by expanding that section and, perhaps, by moving it toward the top of his piece.
From 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, 5th Edition edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2017 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.
