Learning Differences - Harvard - College admissions essay help
Hometown: Washington, DC, USA
High School: Public school, 353 students in graduating class
Ethnicity: Asian
Gender: Female
GPA: 4.0 out of 4.0
SAT: n/a
ACT: Prefer not to answer
SAT Subject Tests Taken: Mathematics Level 1, Mathematics Level 2, Chemistry, French, U.S. History, World History
Extracurriculars: Student body president; Student Government Association; teacher and manager, The BUTTERFLY Initiative (a nonprofit organization that teaches elementary school students French); team captain, Harvard Model Congress; Student Ambassador and tour guide; member of varsity swimming and cross country teams
Awards: DC Public School Seal of Biliteracy in French
Major: Government and Social Studies
College admissions essay help
In class on the first day of freshman year, I discovered chewed wads of gum stuck underneath my desk. I found half-eaten chicken wings in toilets. The hallways smelled of cigarettes. During lunch, a fight broke out. I tried to get away, but I got shoved against a locker by the crowd. That afternoon, the first alarm was intentionally set off in the boys’ bathroom, leading to a flood and evacuation. Welcome to Woodrow Wilson High School, or, as our principal likes to call it, “the model urban high school in America.”
I am a product of DC Public Schools. Although my high school is situated in the predominantly white, upper-middle class neighborhood where I grew up, it draws students from all eight wards in the city, some of which are plagued by poverty. These conditions contrasted with my ideas of what a high school in an upper-middle class ward would be like. There were lessons that I was bound to learn. My first impression of Wilson’s disorder is not how I ultimately ended up view- ing Wilson.
I was one short student lost in a sea of 1,802 students. It was confusing to be a stranger amongst the waves. There were issues that I wanted to change. I wanted to clean up the sunflower seeds that littered the halls and pick up the hair balls that lined the floors. I also wanted to be the voice for students and make their Wilson experience better. I decided to get involved in our Student Government Association with the hope of improving my school’s environment. Over time, I developed an ambitious goal of representing the student body during my senior year. And this June, I was elected to be Student Body President.
It is impossible to know all of Wilson’s 1,802 students, but it is possible to represent them. I love when my peers, especially underclassmen who I do not know, approach me when they have a suggestion about how to make Wilson better. I am glad that underclassmen talk to me; hopefully it is because they think I am open to meeting new people. And I get a rush when I stand up on the stage of our auditorium to welcome the students.
I feel lucky to have spent four years in one of the few local high schools where students of different ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds, religions, and sexual orientations can coexist. I have learned to treat interactions as valuable lessons rather than awkward conversations. By taking time to know my peers, I have learned about Shy Glizzy, mumbo sauce, and the art of cornrowing. And more importantly, I have been able to create new friendships and build a cohesive community within our school.
While there is still gum stuck underneath desks, and other imperfections still exist, I have learned to deal with adversity through courage and perseverance. Adversity like me jumping through hoops to organize my school’s forum for all six DC mayoral candidates. Adversity like the Westboro Baptist Church actively attacking our homosexual principal, Mr. Cahall, on the basis of his sexual preference. My perseverance to help coordinate a peaceful counter-protest to support Mr. Cahall. Nothing makes me prouder than to be here, embodying all of the voices at Wilson.
If given the chance to study at Harvard, I will remember that every time one human meets another, there is an opportunity to teach— and more importantly, to learn. The wider the gap—be it racial, religious, ideological, economic—the more we have to share with each other. I hope to carry this lesson with me and all those that I’ve learned at Wilson to the Harvard Undergraduate Council. Although I probably will not find half-eaten chicken wings littering the halls of Harvard, I hope to continue advocating for those around me.
REVIEW
In this essay, Jennifer paints a vivid picture of her role in improving a messy public school. The first paragraph is the strongest, as it concisely uses specific details to capture the reader in Jennifer’s own setting. Her strong use of sensory detail throughout the essay proves crucial for making her list of achievements stand out as a real story rather than a résumé.
While impressive, however, this essay lacks intimacy. The essay would have been more effective if Jennifer offered insight into how she developed true connections with students who came from different backgrounds than her and the challenges she faced in improving the school’s environment.
However, Jennifer was able to avoid this downfall with her careful attention to detail and humble disclaimers. She is willing to invest in Harvard’s community and has experience with socioeconomic and racial diversity. A more nuanced picture would have had the effect of making this strong essay into a powerful one in its ultimate claim to knowing and loving diversity.
From 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays, 5th Edition edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. Copyright (c) 2017 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.
