The Personal Statement: Writing the Perfect Conclusion
So, you’ve written a mesmerizing personal statement, capturing your unique story while allowing your personality and voice to shine through. Yet, one question looms in your mind: “How do I end this thing?
Concluding your essay is a critically important step in your writing process, but it can also be one of the most challenging parts. Students are eager to leave a great impression in the mind of their reader, but can risk trailing off without any real closure or, perhaps even worse, concluding with a few trite sentences that take away the impact of al the words that came prior, leaving an admissions officer to wonder, “Was this essay that great after all?”
Here are a few do’s and don’ts to consider when crafting a compelling conclusion.
DO:
Be intentional! Just because you hit the magical 650-word count doesn’t mean that it’s time to stop writing. Be thoughtful about how you want to conclude.
If appropriate, refer back to an anecdote or description from your introduction. Depending on your topic, this full-circle approach can help tie your essay together.
Don’t be afraid to end with dialogue or a vivid description. Some basic strategies for writing essay introductions actually apply to conclusions as well.
Show. Don’t tell. Many college essays end reflectively, which is usually very appropriate for this type of writing. Show your reader what you learned and how you’ve grown.
Recognize that this is your last chance to make an impression on the admissions committee. Your goal is to “clinch” them.
DON’T:
Don’t summarize your essay. This is not a five-paragraph essay, and there is no need to summarize or restate a thesis statement. (After all, a thesis statement shouldn’t exist in the context of a personal statement!) Think of your conclusion as writing a powerful ending to a great story.
Don’t ruin a great essay by over reflecting. You don’t need a long, wordy paragraph to end an essay successfully.
Don’t use cliché phrases. Consider your words carefully before resorting to phrases such as “I think,” “I learned,” or “The most important thing.” You risk sounding cliché, and your story can easily get lost in the shuffle.
Now, let’s consider some examples of successful college essay conclusions.
Example #1: Simple, yet powerful storytelling
When class ended each afternoon, I would cap my blue dry-erase marker, give high-fives to the students as they walked out the door, and watch as their parents picked them up. I was confident that when my students were asked the inevitable questions of “Did you learn something today?” and “Did you have fun?” their answers would be a resounding yes. And even as their teacher, I learned and had fun too.
This essay, written by a student accepted at Harvard, depicts his summer spent as a volunteer instructor at a public speaking camp for elementary students. His language is simple, but his story comes to life. In this concluding paragraph, he provides important details that help his story come alive (for example, capping the blue dry-erase marking and giving his students high fives.) This is mixed with a touch of reflection (“And even as their teacher, I learned and had fun.”) Although he could have rambled for another paragraph about everything he learned, he kept it thoughtful and concise. This conclusion is the perfect example of the fact that often in the college essay process, less is more.
Example #2: Bringing the story full circle
Despite my many failed attempts at making tortillas throughout my life, I have discovered the key ingredient to the tortilla recipe, and ultimately the recipe of life: persistence. If trying to make tortillas has taught me anything, it is that: it’s not about the shape of the tortilla, it’s about how the tortilla faces the hot griddle of life.
This essay, written by a student accepted at John Hopkins, opens with a childhood memory about making misshaped tortillas by hand. The student uses this simple yet descriptive anecdote to provide a glimpse into her personal experiences with multiculturalism. In her conclusion, she refers back to the tortilla reference from the introduction, bringing the story full circle. Her conclusion is brief but powerful, and she offers a poignant metaphor without feeling the need to over-explain it.
Example #3: A glimpse into goals for the future
Initially, my goal was to catch trout. What I landed was a passion. Thanks to that first morning on Fall Creek, I’ve found a calling that consumes my free time, compels me to teach fly fishing to others, and drives what I want to study in college.
I will be leaving Fall Creek soon. I am eager to step into new streams.
This essay, written by a student accepted at Hamilton College, describes learning how to fish and how a unique friendship sparked from this hobby. The writer weaves his hopes for the future into his essay’s conclusion in a manner that is creative and intentional. He shows the readers his future goals and ends with a catchy metaphor.
Conclusions are as unique as the essays themselves; there are many different ways to create an impactful finale to your writing. If at first you don’t get it right, rewrite that closing paragraph again!
