Inequalities - Harvard - Free example law school personal statement

Free example law school personal statement

One night seven years ago, my mother and I sat in the car waiting for the light to change when a homeless man knocked on our window. This was not the first time such an event had occurred and yet I became especially saddened by his presence. It was not just this man’s predicament that upset me, but rather the combination of events that transpired that day. In my high school history class, we had discussed slavery in America and the atrocities of the Holocaust. That evening I had attended the Hudson County Child Abuse Prevention Center meeting, which highlighted an increase in child abuse in the area. And now a homeless person was begging for money. My sadness as a naïve fifteen-year-old Afro-Cuban teenager came to inform my proactive stance and future view of the world as a place that needed to change.

Now, seven years later sitting in my sociology class at Harvard,

I listen to my classmates discuss the relative merits of assigning blame to structural factors as opposed to cultural values for the inequities in America. The consensus in my class is clear: Structural inequalities result in negative consequences for many people and so ascribing societal wrongs to cultural values is misguided. These types of conversations are particularly salient for me, as structural inequalities have had significant meaning in my own life as an Afro-Cuban woman.

For me, structural inequalities meant that I had to travel eighteen miles to attend a private high school because the public school system in my hometown of Union City, New Jersey, was deficient. While I was fortunate to attend this high school, the friends I left behind were not as lucky. Some of my former eighth-grade classmates were either pregnant within their freshmen year of high school or arrested for selling drugs. Structural inequalities meant that my best friend’s father, the only Hispanic worker at his office, was fired because he was “too lazy.” The manager did not realize that my friend’s father had bipolar disorder and two days after being fired, he committed suicide in his family’s basement. Structural inequalities meant that my parents, who both immigrated from Cuba, had to adapt quickly to their schools with different access to resources. My grandparents managed to put my mother in a Head Start program, which gave my mother opportunities that my father never received. As a result, my father was forced to repeat second grade due to his English-language deficiency. Structural inequalities meant that many of my Hispanic female friends in middle school were sexually molested by an older white male student in the after-school program. The male student, a teacher’s son, suffered no consequences.

As I reflect on these situations, it becomes difficult for me, as an Afro-Cuban woman, to separate race and gender inequalities from the insidiousness of structural disparities. When we discuss structural inequalities in my sociology classes, I agree with my classmates that the “victim” is never to blame. However, discussion alone is never satisfying and I find myself spurred to action. During these past four years, I have elected to work with programs and groups that specifically focus on the empowerment of women and communities of color. This work has led me to realize that by attending law school and entering the legal profession, I will be able to have a greater impact in assisting these historically vulnerable populations. Women and people of color inordinately suffer the consequences of structural inequalities, specifically with respect to discrimination, domestic violence, harassment, sexual assault, and voter disenfranchisement.

I believe that the greatest changes in our society can occur as a result of legal and political empowerment and the passage of laws. Therefore, it is my goal to one day become an elected official and work to ensure that the rights of such vulnerable populations are protected. It is an aspiration that has been personally informed by my life’s experience as an Afro-Cuban woman and person of color, and that I have cultivated in college through my intellectual pursuits and work experiences. I believe that attending law school is the first step toward combating the structural inequalities that left me hopeless just seven years ago.

Analysis

Although this essay does not start off on the strongest foot, it quickly gains in strength. Amanda Morejon begins the piece by recalling a homeless man begging on her window during her high school years. While this could potentially be a touching personal story, there is something off about it. Whereas Morejon does a good job tying other examples into her ideas of structural inequality, she leaves that example standing without relating it to her broader theme. Moving, compelling stories only help an essay if they show something important about the author and the author’s message.

The opening story lacks specificity and as a result has an artificial tone. For example, Morejon simply states that she was “saddened” by the “combination of events that transpired that day”—a little more description would have gone a long way in helping the reader learn more about the person behind this personal statement. In addition, Morejon attempts to draw attention to her Afro-Cuban background and her sociology studies seem a little forced. In two occasions, she prefaces her statements with “as an Afro-Cuban woman,” which is unusually jarring. The essay entirely loses this artificial touch, however, in the third paragraph. As Morejon recalls several vivid examples of structural inequality from her own life, she very effectively contrasts two sides of structural and racial inequality: that which is tackled in the classroom, and that which is encountered in everyday life. In doing so, she manages not only to stand out as an individual, but also to demonstrate a high level of maturity and of commitment to an issue that she holds very close at heart. The transition to a discussion of why she wants to be a lawyer seems very natural from there on. The essay comes full circle in the last paragraph, with a reference to the introductory story that “left [Morejon] hopeless just seven years ago.”

Overall, this essay illustrates the importance of good storytelling: If you choose to recall a personal memory, make sure you fully commit yourself. Details and imagery can make all the difference between a contrived essay and a gripping narrative.

From 55 Successful Harvard Law School Application Essays, edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. 
Copyright © 2014 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin’s Publishing Group.