What ails you - Harvard - Example law school application essay

Example law school application essay

Like any turning point in life, senior year involves soul-searching, and I have spent many evenings reflecting on my memories at Penn. Inevitably, my mind turns to Mary.

After we first met during our dorm’s welcome-to-college barbecue party, coincidences ensured that Mary and I would continue running into each other. Since we were both early risers, we met for breakfast every day. Our classes were in the same buildings because we both adored the humanities. We even shared extracurricular interests—three or four evenings a week, we walked together to the gym for waltz and tango lessons. It did not take long for us to become close friends, and prior to leaving for spring break, we submitted forms to be roommates.

That was never to be. Although Mary had seemed fine one week ago, when I saw her again, she walked with a limp and spoke haltingly. I spent the next three hours with her at student health services, forgetting that I still had morning classes. It was not until she was sent to the emergency room that I finally left, promising to find her if she had to stay overnight. I had no idea then that my first visit that evening would be followed by so many others.

Mary never left the hospital, and the lessons I learned in the next few months are among the most significant I have had in my life. I became more attentive. Noticing the marginally edible hospital fare, I asked a doctor about nutrition and began toting over meals for both of us. I brought and peeled oranges for her after I saw her eyes light up when she first spied one among her breakfast items. By recalling allusions to tests and papers, I mentally pieced together her schedule and went to her classes, first to collect her homework, then to ask for extensions on everything. And as it became increasingly difficult for Mary to talk, I learned to read her face. Gradually, I overcame my shyness as I approached doctors for what they would disclose about my friend’s health. I asked Mary’s classmates to visit her, and when her parents arrived from Beijing, I forgot my insecurity over my Chinese and tried my best to comfort them.

I became more compassionate. Whereas I would formerly have balked at the idea of spending time with a friend on the eve of a test, my linguistics midterm was the last thing on my mind as I sat by Mary’s bedside and held her hand until she fell asleep. I ran from the hospital at one end of the campus to our dorm at the other up to three times a night to bring her things she had forgotten. And whenever Mary grew angry at me over something, I blushed and apologized. If having someone to blame made her illness more bearable, then that was all that mattered.

When it was clear she had lymphoma and was dying, I also became aware of the nature of ethical debates. Should the parents bankrupt themselves to take Mary home? Was it worth risking the flight? When should Mary’s frail grandpa learn the truth? And finally, is anyone wronged if Mary’s parents now hope for another child? It has been nearly three years and I still lack answers, but I now better understand the role human relations play in decision making.

My friendship with Mary continues to resurface in elements of my life and in my interactions with others. I am now more appreciative of things and try to experience enough for us both. On top of my formal course load, I now regularly audit other interesting classes on topics ranging from the U.S. Civil War to German Romanticism. While I stayed almost entirely on campus freshman year, as a sophomore I began to explore downtown Philly—and to take my shyer friends with me so they, too, would not miss out. By being attentive to details like professors’ birthdays and the favorite movies of our security guard’s grandchildren, and by becoming conscious of someone’s state of mind by his behavior, I am able to understand and connect with others on a deeper and more rewarding level than I could have ever before. Perhaps I only knew Mary for one year, but she has given me the lessons of a lifetime. I will never forget her.

Note: To respect my friend’s privacy, I have used a different name.

Analysis

This essay’s strength lies in its revelation of the applicant’s character. Jacqueline Yue, through a powerful personal anecdote, reveals her thoughtfulness, compassion, and ability to connect with others.

Woven throughout are examples of the strength of her bond with her friend Mary, as well as examples of the lessons she learned from the challenges Mary’s illness posed—lessons about friendship, sacrifice, and life in general.

A personal statement like this one could be risky if not crafted carefully. After all, a friend—not the applicant—is its central focus. But the experience described was clearly formative for Yue, shaping her perspective on human relationships and making her more appreciative of what life has to offer. And Yue’s approach is nuanced: She manages to convey a great deal about herself (importantly, without seeming callous or trivializing Mary’s situation).

Yue points out that she wrestled with ethical dilemmas when Mary’s death began to seem inevitable. And while addressing moral questions is a large part of what lawyers do, the candidate leaves it to the admissions officer to infer her reason(s) for wanting to attend law school. Yue might have improved the strength of her essay— and had room to elaborate on her legal interest, specifically—by condensing the description of her interaction with Mary. The story she’s telling is poignant and compelling, but she ought to have explained how this experience inspired her interest in pursuing a legal career. Applicants should avoid making her main mistake: It’s important to make the law school’s admissions officers want you, but equally important to prove that you want them.

Still, Yue’s essay reveals her loyalty, reliability, and mature perspective. It is clear that she would be an asset to the school’s intellectual community; it also seems likely that she would put her law degree to use in the service of others.

From 55 Successful Harvard Law School Application Essays, edited by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson. 
Copyright © 2014 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin’s Publishing Group.